he's like a curse he's like a drug

[``mary flora macdonald]

It wasn’t her fault.

At least that’s what Mary kept telling herself. How she supposed to know that running to get to classes on time could be disastrous? Earlier today, procrastination had left Mary to be finishing her History of Magic essay in the library. She finished only minutes before the class was to start which lead her running full speed to a classroom floors below her. Unfortunately Mary ended up not exactly watching where she ran and accidently kicked a small animal. Unfortunately Mary ended up not watching where she ran and accidently kicked a small animal. Not any small animal, but a cat – Filch’s cat Mrs. Norris. It was no secret Mary wasn’t a fan of cats, and absolutely no one loved Mrs. Norris except for Filch, so the caretaker didn’t believe her ‘late to class’ story.

Obviously, she ended up with a detention. Mary was sure Filch would have had her expelled if he could for kicking his precious cat, only he couldn’t prove it was anything more than an accident. The detention in itself wasn’t all too horrible – all she had to do was water the entire greenhouse without magic. Much easier than any other detention she’s had before. Regardless of so, it had taken a good few hours which led to Mary walking back to the common room alone and past curfew. She wasn’t in any hurry either to get back to the Gryffindor dorms either.

Passing by an open window, Mary stopped to lean out of the stone opening and breathe in the crisp, clean fall air. To her, autumn was the best season of the year. What could top the beautiful colors the leaves turned this time of year? What other season didn’t have the extremely hot or cold temperatures besides mud-filled spring? After a few moment of marvelling over the season’s beauty, Mary forced her muscles to push herself away from the window and continued heading back up to the common room. She didn’t exactly want to get into anymore trouble tonight.

The hallways seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer and Mary was oddly thankful for it. Despite not having come in contact with another soul, Mary was still cautious of being caught out past curfew regardless of having a good reason. Thus the reason why Mary squeezed her way behind a statue when hearing footsteps of a patrolling prefect. Mary watched the 6th year Slytherin prefect pass her hiding spot and the entire hallway without so much a suspicious glance. After Mary was sure he was gone, she attempted to wriggle her way out from behind the statue, only to have her jeans get caught on a loose nail. Attempting to just yank her jean from the hook, Mary didn’t anticipate the nail having a jagged side. She let out a large gasped as the rusty metal dug into her flesh unexpectedly. Mary reached for her wand to illuminate look at her cut when she remembered it was left in her dorms because of a magicless detention. “Dammit!” she huffed in frustration, the cut on her thigh stinging and her patience worn thin, “Why the bloody hell is there an old nail sticking out here anyways.” she muttered at a lost of what to do now, but to carefully tug at her jeans.

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius was running through the hallways, his hand locked with a certain Ravenclaw. It was Spinnet again, and Sirius knew she thought that this time she was going to get to go all the way with him. But, he wasn't going to let that happen. Grinning to himself as he heard footsteps heading towards them, he pulled Spinnet into a nearby broom closet and pushed her up against the wall. She was so hot, he could barely stand it. She was much more of a slut than he preferred, but he thought it was extremely funny. He knew she could have sex with pretty much every man she wanted too, except for him. That was why he didn't give her anything but caresses and kisses.

Silver eyes stared into hers as they waited for the footsteps to pass, and Sirius then put his hand underneath of her shirt before he started kissing her. His hands moved all along her body, the desire flooding into his veins like a poison. When he heard another set of footsteps, he gazed at Spinnet with slightly irritated eyes. "We need to find some place where they won't know about us, beautiful." He smirked and then captured her lips in his. "I'm beginning to think that they're all looking for me." He chuckled softly and then slapped her bottom. When she giggled, he noticed that it was too loud and the door burst open. A sixth year Slytherin Prefect stood there, horrified and obviously annoyed. Sirius fluttered his lashes and then said, "Excuse me, but this room is taken." He was about to retort, but the Slytherin gave them both detention without another thought. Sirius shrugged and then rolled his eyes.

The Prefect made Sirius and Spinnet clean their respective toilets without magic but Sirius made sure to splash the Slytherin without the bloke noticing. It was quite amusing, but it earned him another detention. But, like he cared. Rolling his eyes when he finally finished, he stuck his tongue out at the Prefect, grabbed his wand back, and then headed back towards the Common Room. "Damn git," he muttered, knowing that he wouldn't see Spinnet for the rest of the night. Ah, well, he was feeling a little tired anyway. As he passed the statue of the Humpbacked Witch, Sirius stopped and raised an eyebrow. "What the bloody---" He peered around and saw Macdonald. He smirked. "Did you decide to be frisky tonight as well, Mary?" He wiggled his eyebrows and then his silver eyes drifted to her leg. Concern swept over his face and he moved his hand to her thigh before grinning up at her. He was extremely close to her now and he managed to pull her free of the nail. Smirking as he leaned close to her face, he whispered, "Would you like me to heal you, Mary, or is my presence already enough for you?" He chuckled, the sound like a soft bark before he waited. He held his wand tightly, wondering if she would trust him enough to help her.

[/size]

[``mary flora macdonald]

Mary was almost to the point of tears with frustration, which only caused her to be even more frustrated. How in the world could she be letting something like a little nail get the better of her! Hearing footsteps Mary forced herself to calm down and she shifted as far back as she could with still being hooked on the offending metal. Mary held her breath as the footsteps got closer and even childishly squeezed her eyes shut for good measures before her ears heard a familiar voice and her eyes popped open. Sirius. Mary didn’t know if she should breathe a sigh of relief or not. On one hand, it wasn’t a professor or prefect who would no doubt penalize her; on the other hand it was Sirius, and she was sure there was going to be some awkward questions.

Mary frowned at Sirius’ smirk and offensive comment, but regardless played along with a sarcastic comment. “You know me, I just happen to have a thing for cold, hard-hearted statues,” she claimed with an involuntary roll of the eyes. Before Mary could even point out her predicament or suggest he could help her out, he caught sight of the gash on her leg. Mary was surprised by the concern saw on his face, it seem so genuine. Regardless she stammered out, “N-no. It’s nothing re-”but she trailed off just noticing how close Sirius was to her. Mary’s breaking hitched but she was unsure to exactly what Sirius thought he was doing. She ended up pressing her back against the stone wall in an attempt to create more distance between them and be able to clear her thoughts, but it was a futile effort.

Finally noticing that her leg was free, she took the opportunity to organize her thoughts. “Thanks for freeing my leg,” she muttered a slight blush spreading on her cheeks. She was embarrassed such a trivial object got the better of her. Mary realized how quickly quickly he unhooked it, and couldn’t help but to wonder if that came from much practice with bra hooks. It was that thought that helped Mary remember what exactly Sirius was infamous for, woman. Firmly but gently, Mary pushed Sirius away from her and squeezed her way out from between the statue and wall. Shrugging, she provided an explanation, “It was getting really uncomfortable stuck between the wall and statue.” when the real reason was Mary was happy for the extended space between her and Sirius. Space meant she wouldn’t do anything stupid, well, at least it made it slightly harder to do anything stupid.

“We should get back to the common room, I don’t really want to get into any more trouble,” she decided turning to continue her walk to the common room. As she placed pressure on her right leg, she winced having forgotten about the cut on her thigh. Biting her lip, Mary remembered Sirius’ earlier offer. Almost reluctantly, she asked, “Were you being serious when you offered to fix my leg?”

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius, a little disappointed at her reaction at seeing him let his face fall dramatically. He knew Mary wasn't one of the girls that swooned for him, and he saw it as a challenge. He knew she was just hiding it. He knew that all the girls that claimed to hate him or feel nothing for him were very good at keeping their thoughts to themselves. He was just too smart for their own good. No girl in her right mind could deny him in the heat of the moment, he was positive. He stared into her big brown eyes, a curve at the corners of his lips flipping his mouth upwards into a rather crooked smile. He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if she was ever going to say something. "You know, I'm surprised at you, Mary. I know girls are unable to speak in my presence, but I didn't think you could fall for me so fast. I'm flattered, really." He fluttered his thick lashes before putting his hand to his chest, grinning widely.

Smirking approvingly at her retort, Sirius said, "If that's what you like." He leaned closer to her, his silver eyes staring into those doe-brown puddles. "I could make it so much better." He fluttered his lashes and then moved away, running his fingers through his black hair. Sirius ignored her protests and pulled her out as easily as if she hadn't been in a sticky situation at all. He heard her sudden lack of breathing and simply grinned, not mentioning anything about it. He grinned even more when she attempted to get away from him. He loved chasing women. It was one of the perks of being so devilishly handsome.

Nodding to her thanks, he smirked before saying, "Happy to be of service, Mary." He stopped to turn his iron gaze to hers. "In any way that I can, that is." Noticing her blush, he raised a brow and then confidently reached out a hand to touch her cheek. The warm spattered onto his fingertips and he smirked. He always loved feeling their heat. When she pushed him away, Sirius sighed, turning his face into a pout. "Why must you deny me, Mary? It's so frustrating." He gave her a soft glare, finding it quite irritating that any woman could have the audacity to deny him. But, they always came around in the end. He was hell bent to prove that fact. He rolled his eyes at her explanation. "I'm sure, Mary. Whatever you say." He held up his hands in defeat, throwing her a smirk.

He fell in step beside her, eying her profile with his silver eyes. Noticing her wince, concern leaked onto his face again and he reached out, his hands brushing her arm rather gently. He watched her bite her lip and for a moment, he wished he could have done that for her. Her lips were so luscious . . . Merlin . . . Shaking his head as he controlled himself, he listened to her question. "As my name," he declared, staring at her confidently. In one swift movement, he pulled her wounded leg up in his arms, pulling her body to his. Grinning widely, he held her in place and then took out his wand with his free arm. Looking away from her for a brief moment, he pointed it at her wound and thought, Episkey! A shot of sparks flew from his wands and he waited for the spell to work. Despite the closeness he had caused between them, he was really focused on healing her.

Some would be surprised at his spark of kindness, but others knew it was how he really was, behind all of the mask of the egotistical player.

[/size]

[``mary flora macdonald]

[[-gasp- I was away so long it went into the graveyard! =( ]]

Sirius’ ego had always been something that both attracted and repulsed Mary. It was hard for the brunette to explain, but she remembered trying to explain it to another Gryffindor girl in their year. On one hand, it showed confidence - and strength; but on the other side, it was nothing but conceited pride. This explanation Mary had conjured up once upon a time didn’t help to alleviate any confusion of Mary’s peculiar feelings, but regardless she found herself always outwardly showing disproval to other’s extreme egos. Mary thought that Sirius was no exception, and was even leaning towards true annoyance of his tremendous self-esteem - especially taking into consideration his ridiculous mock expression of flattered. Thus the reason why Mary let out a “Pfft” of disdain. Good naturedly, Mary retorted with a smile, “Have you ever stopped to wonder that maybe it’s your overinflated ego that keeps those few girls in this school from fainting at the sight of you?” she teased, trying to throw Sirius off his game.

Too bad it wasn’t as easy for Mary to keep a cool, collected attitude when Sirius ignored any standard norms of personal space. Mary had no doubt about those ‘better’ abilities of Sirius’ (especially compared to a slab of rock). His intense gaze from his strikingly silver eyes gave Mary the impression that he could read every thought running through her head. She was so concentrated on keeping herself composed that she didn’t even notice Sirius’ growing smirk with her pathetic efforts to do so.

Her blush only deepened when her mind registered his implied offer in reply to her thanks. To her own disbelief, Mary didn’t slap Sirius’ hand away when he touched her cheek. She was, however, relieved at her own competency to push him away from her. “I deny you, because you don’t hear it often enough.” Mary confidently pointed out. Although this was true, it wasn’t the only reason. Mary knew she didn’t want to be that girl to mess around with. No one had ever really classified Mary as promiscuous, or a tramp, but neither had she been considered a prude. Perhaps it was her upbringing, perhaps it was because she was conceived in a one night stand, but Mary was old fashioned in the sense that she believed strongly in only snogging a guy if you were dating him. Sirius was notorious for doing lots of the snogging[and rumours of more], opposed to the dating.
And at the time Mary wasn’t a girl looking for a good romp in the closet. Actually, Mary had never been that kind of girl. Perhaps a few mistakes after a couple firewhiskies would lead a handful to believe so, but Mary vowed never to let herself become like her mother: a one night stand. But at the same time, Mary was wrestling with her conscious because lately she had been trying to break the good-girl image she had attained somehow through her time at Hogwarts.

But what’s wrong with being good? A small part of her brain wondered. Because they’re no fun! she argued with it.

Mary’s lips turned downwards in a frown at the pun. “I hate puns,” she muttered quietly before he grabbed her leg and pulled her close. Mary supposed she really shouldn’t of been caught off guard with his movements and restrained herself from pushing him away while she watched him fix her leg. She looked up at his face and was shocked with what she saw. Mary was ashamed to admit she didn’t expect to see such concentration and tenderness on Sirius’s face. She shook her head slightly and wiped the shock off her face, disgusted for not realizing there was more to Sirius than the pranking, maraudering, ladies’s man that everyone knew him as.

She wondered why he didn’t let others see this side of him more often.

Mary gingerly touched where the gash in her leg had previously been. “I couldn’t of done it any better,” she complimented. “Thanks,” she added giving him a smile. Again she was fighting with herself to whether or not she wanted him to let go of her. After a few moments she finally looked down to where he held her leg and back up at him. ”Umm,” she trailed off hoping he took the hint.

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius knew that she was attracted to him. He could see it in her doe eyes. They had an innocent look about them, but the raven-haired boy knew better. He had heard of the rumors surrounding this girl. But, a part of him didn't mind at all. He would have loved more than anything to party with this girl. She was gorgeous. He had no doubt that she was extremely fun. Smirking, he allowed his eyebrows to wiggle as he figured she was trying to come up with a reason to deny him. He chuckled at the noise she made, his silver eyes sparkling in approval. He loved crawling underneath of her skin. He raised his eyebrows when she spoke, leaning his face very close to hers and looking at her steadfastly through his silver pools. With a smirk that curved the left corner of his mouth upwards, he muttered silkily, "I never stop to think because it doesn't take me that long to figure something out, despite what you may know. Besides, any woman that has the gall to deny me affection and approval must just like me that much more." He knew he was pushing it, but what woman could deny him? He was just so damn beautiful. Hell, he knew he had an ego, but that's what made things fun. James was growing boring because he wasn't as rambunctious with girls like Sirius. The black-haired boy found that quite irritating, but he didn't let it bother him too much. After all, it didn't seem to stop his activities. He noticed the concentration on her face again and guffawed. Damn, she really was trying! He would have to remember that she was always a tough one to crack, but he'd always known that. That just made it more enjoyable to mess with her.

When that blush reddened her tender cheeks, Sirius couldn't help but brush his fingertips across the peach skin, smiling softly as he did so. Nothing but the feel of a woman's skin would be able to calm him. He was always comforted by their scents, by their grace, by their gentleness. He was glad she didn't remove his hand from her face, but it wouldn't have mattered. He wouldn't have been phased if she had done such a thing. When she moved away, he simply smirked, tilting his head to the side. His silver pools twinkled over at her, as if he were trying to decipher her every thought. He chuckled at her comment, agreeing completely. She and Lily were the only ones he knew of that denied him point-blank. But, he could make them uncomfortable every now and then. He only did it to Lily to piss her off, but Mary? She was was pistol hiding beneath perfection. There was a fire in her eyes that Sirius couldn't shake off. He wanted to see her relaxed. He had known she wasn't much of a player, and he respected her for that. But, Sirius could break her. He usually could. Her confidence turned him on and he couldn't help but grin wider. He had known of her usually being kind of the girl version of Remus, except obviously more attractive. Smirking at the thought, he moved closer to her, allowing his fingertips to graze across her smooth skin as he whispered in his velvety voice, "What are you afraid of, Mary?" He didn't know why he asked it. He just felt the question burning in his mind. There was only a slight fear in her eyes, but of what he didn't know. He could only assume, and he didn't really like assumptions.

Sirius simply laughed when she told him she didn't like puns. He got that quite a bit from the Marauders, but he thought them amusing so he was going to keep using them. Remus was especially tired of his name joke, but Sirius just couldn't get enough of it. He thought it was extremely clever on his part. As he pulled her close, he made sure to move against her so as to make her hopefully enjoyably uncomfortable. When his silver pools swiveled back up to hers, he muttered, "What? Are you surprised that I actually have some human tendencies? I know it may be shocking to you that a god couldn't be this chivalrous, but I can assure you that it's quite alleviating to act in such a way." Part of him wished he had never become the ladies man he had made himself to be. It was irksome more than fun most of the time and the swooning women got on his nerves, but he would never admit to that. To everyone on the outside, he was the perfect player, wearing a mask of stained chivalry. He smirked at her comment. He returned a playful grin, his silver eyes twinkling. When he stared at her, he forgot he was holding on to her. When she muttered something and then looked away from his gaze, he guffawed quietly and then moved his other hand on her back, pressing her body into his. His grip was tight, but she was making no struggle to get away from him. If she made the slightest movement to do so, he would let her. "What about a kiss, Mary? You know I've been wanting to kiss you since Third year." He smiled again, the handsome devilishness pouring through his perfect teeth.

[/size]

[``mary flora macdonald]

There was a difference between confidence and just being plain cocky, and Sirius was crossing that line. No, scratch that, Sirius was destroying that line like he destroyed Mary’s normal need of a slight bit of personal space. Although the brunette was at two minds at the extreme closeness of her and the silver eyed Don Juan, she was certainly at the belief Sirius’ arrogance was now too much. She was frustrated at how difficult he was making it for her to express this though. As he spoke, she couldn’t help but to muse over how much more gorgeous he was two inches away from her own face. Realizing train of thought she was entertaining, the Gryffindor girl found herself once again repressing them and forcing herself to pay attention to the second part of Sirius’ retort, and not so much on how smooth his voice was, or how kissable his lips looked when he smirked sideways like tha... dammit. Quickly she channelled her pervious annoyance of his conceited attitude, and quirked an eyebrow, “Is that what you think?” she softly questioned matching his voice level. Confidently she stared at the spot between his eyes, a trick she learned when she worked as a stage hand for the local theatre company one summer. Apparently it gave the illusion that one was actually looking at the other’s eyes. Right now, Mary was willing to do anything to show the womanizer in front of her that she wasn’t going to submit to his smooth moves and looks. At his boisterous laugh Mary was truly ticked off. What in the world was he laughing at her about? Furrowing her brows and shooting a glare at him she bluntly asked “What?” even though she fairly certain what he was laughing about.

Her confidence slipped away and she felt self-conscious as the devilishly handsome Gryffindor held himself in such a way and looked at her although he knew exactly what was going through her mind. It made Mary wonder what exactly Sirius thought of her. A challenge? That was for sure. She knew she didn’t act as the other girls he pursued, but surely she couldn’t have been the only one to behave this way. There was Lily, but of course it was well known Sirius’ best mate was well in love with her so Mary supposed he must have backed off with the red head. Mary was recognizing a pattern: she created breathing distance between the two of them, and then Sirius closed the space and made her all flustered. He gently touched her skin and she closed her eyes, suppressing a shiver from traveling its way up her spine. She toyed with the idea of letting down her standards. He wanted it, Mary secretly wanted it, it’d be just so easy to snog him and give in. What was holding her back? She had standards. Mary, had, standards. Perhaps there was an alternative motive to these so called standards, and Sirius seemed to have sensed them as well. At his question she froze. Opening her lids, her wide brown orbs were guarded from showing any emotion and she held her face in the same way. “Who says I’m afraid?” she murmured carefully wondering what exactly he saw that prompted him to ask that – Her fear of being just a fling? Fear of being called a slut? Or even fear of becoming her mother?

What Sirius caught in her expression made Mary feel even more ashamed for being so quick to judge and take people as face value. It also slightly irked her that he referred to himself as a god, but she was starting to take his extreme self-confidence as just who he was. Instead of retorting back with some witty comment she simply said, ”I like this side of you. Why do you hide it?” Something nagged at the back of her head though about what he said. Wait, alleviating? It wasn’t a word Mary was entirely familiar with, but she understood what it implied – that there was some sort of pain needing to be lessened. Dare she call him out of his word choice? It briefly occurred to her that he could have just simply used the wrong word, but no. He was too smart for that. She fixed her chocolate orbs on his strikingly silver ones trying to understand him. “Alleviating,” she questioned hesitantly, ”What are you alleviating?” She knew the basic about him. He rejected the pure-blooded mania his family was known for and got kicked out (or was it he moved out?) of his home. Mary could only slightly relate. Her own mother was a Muggle-born Witch but wasn’t exactly thrilled about magic, so she wasn’t exactly thrilled when Mary turned out to be a Witch too. Her mother didn’t ever do much to express her disproval of magic besides taking a disinterest in Mary whenever she spoke of Hogwarts or the Wizarding world. From what Mary understood, the pureblooded families were insane to those who didn’t share the same beliefs about them, including their own kin. She supposed Sirius having a family who hated people like her would have been enough of a hardship to deal with, but what did acting chivalrous to other have to do with anything?

There he was, laughing at her again. Involuntarily, she let out a small gasp of surprise as his hand found its way to her back and pulled her even tighter to him. Mary had been expecting him to let go of her leg, not pull her closer. She was sure he was getting nothing but pure enjoyment from watching her struggle uncomfortably, which is why she did her best to retrain from doing. “Third year?” she asked looking up at him, disbelief evident on her face, ”I hardly believe that.”

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius could tell that Mary was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second, but he simply found that highly amusing. When girls grew uneasy around him it usually meant that they were either terrified of him or they just decided that they weren't going to admit to him that they actually found him goddamn alluring. Then, he began to see the frustration appear on her beautiful face. He found it quite humorous, but quickly stifled a guffaw at her expression. Chuckling at the sudden change coming about her expression, his silver eyes glinted with bright humor. Smiling at the surprise in her question, he flashed her another crooked smile and then muttered, 'I can assure you that I'm not an expert at lying." He wiggled his eyebrows amusingly. This was a falsity, of course. Everyone knew that all of the Marauders were excellent liars. It was how they got out of too much trouble. And, it was how Sirius was able to get so many girls in a broom closet with him. Keeping the smile alight on his face when she asked him what he was laughing about, he muttered, "Well, the fact that you are trying to deny me your admittance in the fact that you are completely dazzled by me is simply amusing, Mary." He gave her another grin and then ran his finger along her jawline, staring into her eyes with a passionate fervor.

Thinking this to be a very fun game, Sirius watched her carefully. He was eager to calculate each of her expressions and emotions so as to figure out her next move. He usually grew bored of all of the women falling at his feet without even a struggle. Oh no, the ones that put a front to show him that they were irritated with his very presence made him strive to his full potential to gain their affections. It seemed like a never-ending quest to him, his eagerness radiating off of his very voice. He remembered attempting to get Lily under his charm but had immediately backed off when James had practically professed his obsession for her. It had seemed disgusting and irritating to Sirius to lose a best friend in such a way, but he would soon get over it, he supposed. He knew that they were meant to be. He just didn't want to have to share his best mate with a fiery redhead like Lily Evans. Growing more and more amused by Mary's frustration and loss of how to handle herself, Sirius grinned even wider. Her skin was so soft, like cream against his fingers. His hand moved down to her full lips and he stared at her mouth hungrily as the sweet scent of her breath flew into his nostrils, sending lustful thoughts into his brain. When her lids flipped open, he stared into those doe-like brown eyes. Silver gazed into them intensely, finding no trace of emotion in their depths. Finding that a nuisance, Sirius never removed his gaze from hers, continuing to trace her skin with his fingertips. Shrugging at her rather startled question, he leaned his face closer to hers, inches from her lips and whispered, "You can't hide anything from me, Mary. You're eyes have shown me everything I need to know. You don't have to tell me what it is that's got you so afraid. I just don't want you to think that I'd hurt you." Every girl knew that Sirius Black was a player, intent on gaining a girl's affections before promising them to continue another day. He had seen every girl he wanted numerous times, so it wasn't as if he had left them broken-hearted. Not yet, anyway.

Blinking rapidly at her statement, Sirius sighed. He moved his hand to her hair, softly playing with it while he thought of how to reply to her. His other hand tightened into a fist. He had never heard of a girl liking the sweet and selfless side of him. He chose not to show it because he was afraid of being hurt, just like every other person, he supposed. But, he was different from all of them. He hid himself so well that no one even knew that there was anything wrong. But here, in this moment, Mary had brought out the side of him he had tried to keep locked away, to protect himself from harm. He feared that if he acted more like the chivalrous gentleman that he truly had become, girls would take advantage of that or simply not talk to him at all. To be honest, it scared the hell out of him. And, although he loved Remus to death, he didn't want to have the solitude that his mate had. Sirius wouldn't be able to survive without women all around him, begging for his attention. He had to remain in control of everything. Shrugging finally, he whispered, "I suppose it's for the same reason you hide your true self, Mary." When he stopped, his silver eyes shot up to hers, waiting for a reaction. He wanted to see if she understood where he was coming from. Maybe he was a lost cause. Watching her closely at her next question, Sirius backed away from her quite suddenly, memories of his horrible childhood fluttering back into his brain. Turning his body away from her and walking to a nearby window, he muttered, "I need to prove that I am better than them, Mary. I need to prove that I am actually a human being capable of compassion. I shall never be like them. I always have to fight that side of me to stay out, but it was how I was raised. I must stay the opposite of what I have been raised to be to continue my life with a fair amount of sanity." He continued to gaze down at the grounds, his little brother's face zooming into his mind. He cringed horribly at the image of that visage, once full of laughter and happiness, now riddled with despair and confusion. "I have to do it all for him." He wondered if she would comprehend the horror he had undergone to achieve what he had become now. If he had never found himself on James's porch steps on that fateful August evening when he was fifteen, he never would have come this far. He had spent too long in that terrible house with his parents, the beings that wouldn't even claim him, and he had received many scars from his experience. His fists clenched in torture.

Sirius smirked, keeping a tight grip on her leg so that she wouldn't be able to get away. Also, it was the only way she would be able to balance herself with one leg high up in the air. He was enjoying this far too much but he couldn't help himself. Mary was beautiful and Sirius wanted her. The disbelief splashing across her face startled him. He guffawed and leaned close to her face, keeping his arm locked around her waist protectively and firmly. "Why do you find that so hard to believe, Mary? I mean, you did start to become irritated with everything I did that year so it's only natural that I would desire you after that fact." He smirked again. That wasn't entirely true. He had always found Mary attractive. There was just something about brunettes that he loved. He didn't know what it was, but they had always been his favorite in broom closets.

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[``mary flora macdonald]

It was Mary’s turn to scoff, and she added a good eye roll for measures. It was ridiculous for him to even proposition that any of the Marauders lacked talent in covering their arses and lying their pants off to keep themselves out of trouble. Every, single, one, of, them. “Sirius Black, you are such a good liar that I almost believed that, almost,” she retorted grinning. His hilariously unbelievable claim of truth telling had been enough to ease Mary and give her a feeling of slight control over herself. Laughter, jokes, smiles, teasing. Those things were familiar. They were a safe ground between the two. Well, that all turned to shit with a single touch. She was astounded, and embarrassed when a tremble reverberated through her body, originating from her jawline. She wanted to prove him wrong. She wanted to fight and refute about how she was not ‘dazzled’ by him, but no words came out. Not a single sound escaped her mouth as her gaze caught the passion in his pools of grey.

She was beyond irritated – it was to the point where Mary was realizing she was the epitome of the clichéd term hot and bothered. Between realizing this, and that the painfully handsome man in front of was so adapt at making her forget her irritation all together, just annoyed her even more. Mary liked to think she was an easy going kind of girl, so this constant flickering feeling of irritation was neither familiar nor welcome feeling. To contrast though, the other half of the time that she wasn’t annoyed at him was when she was secretly adoring the physical attention. She hated herself for it. She refused to believe she was just like every other girl who claimed to hate Sirius Black and his broom closets. The thought scared her to believe that she was just another typical teenager with uncontrollable hormones and a weakness for guys with pretty faces, and perfectly toned muscles, and the desirably scruffy looks, as if he just rolled out of bed…. shit. Her thoughts really needed to stop running off and doing everything in their power to deteriorate her willpower.

His hands weren’t callous or rough, but the difference in their skin textures made her deliciously aware of the patterns he traced. She blinked furiously and her emotionless façade fell quickly and his lips inched closer and closer. Mary knew she was mad, possibly even insane not to allow the situation to advance to where they both wanted it to be. His whispers were practically sweet nothings, and her vulnerability surfaced even more when he alluded to the idea that eyes were the window to the soul, and he had seen hers. Unconsciously, she tilted her head slightly and leaned forward ever so slightly. When the last bit of his words registered with her, she blinked hard a few times and pulled back the slightest bit she had moved forward. ”You’ve got it wrong. I’m not afraid of you, I’m terrified of me,” she whispered shaken by her own conclusion. She wondered if it sounded as cryptic to Sirius as it felt to herself.

She watched him carefully after her simple confession of liking the kinder, generous Sirius. It had, after all, been what initially drew the two of them together this evening. She was grateful for the stone wall behind her to lean against, for her legs were turning into jelly as he tenderly played with her hair. Her eyes flicked down to his balled fist, and realized she stumbled upon a difficult subject. When he finally spoke, she instantly became defensive when he turned the question around on herself. What in Merlin’s name did he think he was hiding about her ‘true self’? She wasn’t the one walking around and being a womanizing bastard while having a chivalrous heart of gold slipping through the cracks of his exterior mask. She didn’t understand what in the world he was getting at until her second question was answered. She watched as he detached himself from her and wandered to the windows. His mummers were quiet, but every word was as clear as glass to Mary. Sirius’s frame was silhouetted in the window by the moon, but even just his broken posture tore at Mary’s heartstrings. She found herself carefully and slowly moving towards Sirius. She couldn’t figure out who him was, but she bit her lounge and refrained from asking. Instead, she placed a comforting hand on his arm and spoke softly, ”You’ve proved it. I don’t know how anyone could doubt where you heart and loyalties lie.” And really, she couldn’t. She had seen how he interacted with his friends, with those he cared about. She knew he’d give them anything he could in a heartbeat, including his life. He didn’t judge on blood purities like his brother and cousins. He didn’t go around making snide comments and attacking muggleborns like other pureblood wizards. He fingers traced a long, faint scar on his bicep, but she didn't ask. She didn't even mention it. The horrors he must have been through made her almost nauseous to think about. She bit her lip and waited to see if her words had soothed him in the slightest bit. She was feeling bad she had provoked the topic in the first place, but felt honoured that he felt he could reveal this personal bit of himself to her.

Mary shook her head, ”You must be denser then I thought,” she teased him, ”I couldn’t stand you from the moment I realized you were the reason why I had red and gold hair for a week back in second year.” Well, it wasn’t exactly true. Really, the only times she couldn’t stand him was when he was being pigheaded, cocky, arrogant and womanizing – but to be fair, that was most of the time. She smiled at the thought. Jokes. Laughter. Smiles. Teasing. She tried to remember this as she realized his strong but protective grip on her waist and leg.