How it Feels to Love a Girl || Kacie

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius had just given his last letter to the girl going into the Slytherin Common Room. She was a first year, so he knew she would go up to the Dormitories on his orders. He was pacing in front of the portrait, his silver eyes glistening with anxiety and terror all at once. He hadn't been paying attention in any of his classes for his mind was only focused on Kacie. He'd completely forgotten about Lily for the time being. For now, he could care less about that redhead. Kacie meant more to him at the moment than that loudmouth did. Biting the inside of his cheek, he suddenly screamed, "KACIE! I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU COME OUT HERE!" He ran his fingers through his long and black scruffy hair, making him look like a ragamuffin. But, everyone that was close to him knew he let it grow out when he was in a particularly terrible or depressed mood.

He clenched his fists, the anger subsiding. A desperate sadness filled his entire being as he called out for Kacie repeatedly. Many Slytherin snakes threatened to hex him, but he didn't even hear them. All he was focused on was her. He needed to know that she was okay. Damn it, he wouldn't have left her that day they spent in the Room of Requirement if he had known she was going to act like this! He would have never left her sight! He was a loyal man at heart. He couldn't stand to see any of his friends in pain. It was detrimental to his health probably more so than it should have been. But, he was like that with James, Remus, and Peter as well.

The fact that he was ruining his relationship with James was killing him a little more everyday as he continued to dwell on it, but that was why he was focusing all of his attention on the problem with Kacie and not with James. He didn't get into fights often with James, and he didn't really know how to handle that sort of thing. But, Kacie was different. It was also a different situation. Kacie had lost a brother, someone very close to her, and nearly everything else. She needed him right now, more so than James did at the moment. James could handle being without Sirius for a while, especially after their fall out in the boys' dormitories.

He just hoped that he could salvage his relationship with Kacie.

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[``kacie marie helms]

Kacie sighed as she paced the Slytherin Common Room, wand at the ready in case anyone else in the house tried to hex her, or worse. When Sirius had left her a the Room of Requirement, it had been with a sense that everything would be alright. As it turned out, it was quite the opposite. As soon as she'd returned to the Common Room, she had been jumped, attacked by several Sixth and Seventh Years and held down while they...She clenched her eyes shut tightly as she continued pacing, not wanting to remember. They had done the same thing to Adromeda. The only difference being that they never spilled any of the Pureblood Witch's blood. Said that it was too worthy to be spilt, no matter her affiliation. Kacie still bore the scratches, the large bruises that covered her arms, legs, and sides of her face. There was a large gash just above her right eye, and since it had been induced as a result of the Cruciatus curse, they were forced to heal naturally.

She still hadn't answered Sirius' letters, though she felt horrible for it. He had been there for her, and when he tried to contact her, she hadn't even turned a hair to his direction. Though she didn't make herself known, she had seen him at the tree that night, through her animagus form. The white wolf had stared sadly at the boy through the thick expanse of trees as he waited, growing more and more anxious at the night went on. She did not realize how long he had been standing there until the first rays of the day began to shine over the horizon, and he had dejectedly made his way back to the castle. Kacie immediately stiffened as the portrait swung open, gripping her wand tightly in her hand until she noticed that it was only a First Year, a small note in her hand. She stared at Kacie in disdain, and handed her the note. "He said he wasn't leaving," she said. Kacie quickly read the letter, flinching as she heard his sudden shout. "KACIE! I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU COME OUT HERE!" Sighing, she stared at the blank wall before her, her heart aching as she realized just how much she missed his voice.

She turned to the small First Year, who had begun to walk away, and grasped her arm softly. "Tell him...tell him that I'm sorry, but I can't. I'm really sorry." These words were whispered, far too low for any other Slytherin to hear. She could still hear Sirius' silent pleas from outside the dormitory as several older Slytherins told him to shut his trap. Her eyes suddenly widened as she realized just who was saying it to him. "Tell him to shut up, or they'll do the same thing to him," she whispered urgently to the girl, pushing her toward the Common Room entrance and gripping her wand so tightly in her hand that her knuckles were white. She could hear every word as the girl walked out of the dormitory and told him, her voice just as nasally and snooty as when she talked to her. Unconsciously, she found herself at the wall that separated them, her hear to the wall, desperate to hear what he would say next.

Please, she begged silently, confused by the thoughts ringing in her ears, Please just listen to me. Please let me hear your voice. Please never let me go again. Please do. I love you.

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius growled to himself as he began to pace in front of the Portrait, eager to see the face of his Kacie. Sure, she wasn't really his, but she had given him something that he thought impossible. Hope. Hope for a love that could grow. But, if she wasn't going to let him in, he might as well give up. He didn't know how to deal with rejection anyway. It was probably too much for him to handle if the epiphany suddenly made itself known in his head. He couldn't believe that she had lied to him. He had told her he wouldn't leave her side until she was alright. Maybe he should have asked the Professors if he could stay with her for a while. He figured Dumbledore might not mind. But, he hadn't felt it necessary to ask the old man because Kacie had assured him that she was alright. He knew he should have trusted his heart and stayed with her, but he chose to let her go. Was it because he was so afraid of becoming attached to her? So much so that he would be broken if she were to break off all ties with him? He wouldn't be able to stand that. He needed her most horribly in this moment. He was losing his mind and he needed her comfort. He just wanted to see her eyes, just a single glimpse to know that everything was better.

Sadly, he wondered if she had changed. Maybe she didn't want to talk to him ever again. Maybe she had been told that if she had, she would be killed. Well, if that was the case, he was going to murder every Slytherin he came across until he found her! But, then, he scared himself. If he didn't start controlling his temper, he might just turn out like Bellatrix. He couldn't do that. That woman was simply too insane for humanity. He idly wondered how she could have turned out in such a way, but maybe it was because of all of the incest in their family. It was a blessing that they weren't completely disgusting nor did they have any other problems besides the obvious issue about their opinions on pure-bloods and the like. He had been so terribly hurt when she hadn't shown up at the spot they had first begun to talk to each other, as he had proposed. He couldn't even measure the depth of his despair for he knew that he would lose her forever to the distress and sorrow of losing her brother if he didn't do something. And, he didn't even know what to do! Sure, he had gone through a period of grief, but she had been right. He didn't know what it meant to lose a brother to the blackness of death. If he had, he probably would have done something drastic. He might have even gone insane like Bellatrix.

Sirius knew she was in there. He could feel it in his bones. Where else would she go? He had searched everywhere else throughout the castle, asking all of the teachers. Lastly, he had gone to Dumbledore, who had assured him that she had not left the Slytherin Common Room for quite some time. As he paced, he saw the little girl come out. For a moment, he thought of bolting into the Common Room, but that would be more trouble than it would be of help. As she uttered the words from Kacie, he felt a deep feral growl erupt from the depths of his chest. Angrily, he screamed, "BLOODY HELL, KACIE! IF I HAD ANY REGARD FOR MY PERSONAL SAFETY AT ALL, I WOULDN'T HAVE BLOODY COME DOWN HERE!" He was staring straight at the portrait. He knew she was near. He could smell her sweet scent wafting through her nostrils. He clenched his jaw and stepped forward, glaring at all of the Snakes that berated him. He turned on many of them with a face that resembled Bellatrix's, and most of them backed off. There were a few stragglers and he let out a cry of utter agony, his chest feeling as if it had been ripped into pieces at being denied the right to see Kacie. Slashing his wand in the air quite violently, a horrible flash erupted into the corridor. No one had been hurt, but everyone disappeared in fear, just as he had wanted. As he stood there panting, his curly black hair falling into his eyes, he looked back up through the strands of midnight and at the portrait hole. He walked forward, ignoring the now empty painting, and pressed his hand against the portrait's surface. Softly, he whispered, "I swear to hell I'll burn this bloody place down if you don't come out here, Kacie. You know that I'm worried about you. Don't close yourself off to me. I can't stand this." He was breathing rapidly, his fear encroaching upon his insides. If she didn't come out there, he was going to tear this portrait open, no matter what happened to him. He meant it. He wasn't above vandalism.

Actually, he quite encouraged it, especially if it was something that belonged to the Slytherins.

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[``kacie marie helms]

Merlin, she wanted to see him so much. Kacie missed the mischievous glint his silver eyes emitted when he was amused or in a joking mood. She missed the hard, sharp contours of his face, yet the softness they held at the same time as they spoke to each other. She missed the way his hands felt in her hair, how his lips felt against hers in those rare, sweet occasions. And knowing that he was just outside her common room door did nothing to help matters. She did not understand why Sirius seemed almost as desperate to see her as she was with him. She cared about him deeply, which caused the reason for her absence, as well as what had occurred just the night she had returned from the Room of Requirement for the first time. The bruises and cuts on her body had been difficult to hide, unhealable by magical means. She didn't want Sirius to see what they had done to her, and she most certainly didn't want him to be angry with what he saw and risk his skin in order to get back at a couple of snakes that were closer to Voldemort than he could ever dream.

Kacie leaned her back against the cold stone wall, straining her ears in order to hear what the girl was saying to Sirius, just a few feet away, between this cursed wall. She closed her eyes against the sudden ache in her chest, desperately wanting him to go, to leave and forget about her, yet longing for him to stay. When the girl had opened the door, his scent had come tumbling in, filling her lungs as she breathed it in like a drug. Though she had entertained the idea of him leaving forever just moments ago, the thought now seemed absolutely unbearable to even consider. She didn't want him to leave, didn't want what was happening at that very moment. She was a coward, she knew, and it hurt her in the moment she had realized it. She wasn't good enough for someone like him. She wasn't worth Sirius' time.

Kacie held her breath as she heard the girl relay her message to Sirius, and cringed when she heard the low, feral growl that came as a response. She flinched as she heard his angry voice scream, "BLOODY HELL, KACIE! IF I HAD ANY REGARD FOR MY PERSONAL SAFETY AT ALL, I WOULDN'T HAVE BLOODY COME DOWN HERE!" She pressed her fingers to her face, covering her eyes in an attempt to block out the mental image that erupted in her mind. She could imagine Sirius standing there, livid as he glared at the portrait that covered the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. She could faintly hear something going on behind the barrier that stood between she and Sirius, followed by the frantic scrambling of feet and shouts at the Gryffindor's sanity. She fought back a small smile at the commotion, slightly smug that Sirius had done something to put the Slytherins in their place. She could sense his proximity, even through the thick stone walls. She could hear his soft, deep voice whisper, "I swear to hell I'll burn this bloody place down if you don't come out here, Kacie. You know that I'm worried about you. Don't close yourself off to me. I can't stand this." Kacie sighed as she heard his voice, her eyes closing momentarilly, memorizing the sound. Slowly, she opened them once more, made sure that her hair covered the large cut just above her right eyebrow, and nodded. "Okay," she whispered, "Okay." Slowly, she opened the door to the common room, taking in the sight before her. Sirius looked worn, tired, as if he had just carried the world on his shoulders and finally got a break. She couldn't believe it had happened so fast, but she soon found herself wrapping her arms aound his neck, pulling him into a soft, firm hug. She found that she didn't want to let him go. She blinked away the sudden tears that came to her eyes, and, in a susprisingly nonchalante voice, she said, "Evening, Gorgeous."

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius was ready to pull his hair out of the follicles. He couldn't handle being denied the right to see Kacie for this long. It was driving at his nerves quite drastically. He had found that he couldn't sleep at night for when he did, he imagined her finishing herself off and he wouldn't be able to stand that. If she died . . . He wouldn't think about that. He had spent too long worrying about his friends' deaths. He needed to be positive. He needed to be happy for them all. If he wasn't, he would go insane. He needed to always be happy. He couldn't show his weakness. He was beginning to lose his memory of her touch and of her skin against his. He needed to feel her again, to allow those tumultuous sensations to raise the hairs on the back of his neck. He hated that she was just beyond the threshold, barely out of reach. It felt as if he were on the edge of the cliff, reaching out to her over a hundred-foot abyss, his hand just inches from her fingertips, but in reality, she was farther away than he realized. He knew that he would never be able to have a true romantic relationship with her. At least, not with his present state of mind. He needed to learn to control himself and love himself before he could give that love to another human being. Sure, he loved James and Remus, but he wasn't in love with them. He didn't even know what that meant, really. He had only felt the bubbles in his heart yearning for Kacie when he was around her. And those feeling scared him. He wasn't too fond of the unknown when it came to women. With everything else, he had no fear. But, girls? He was bloody terrified of them. When it came to being serious with them, he ran in terror. He couldn't hurt someone like that. He knew that when it would come down to it, both of them would be too afraid to act upon their true feelings and throw them away as teenage hormones. But, that excuse could only last for so long. He had felt a part of him stolen away when she wasn't around. Sure, he didn't see her that much, but he could still talk to her through their letters and chance meetings. And now, now he could see her whenever he wanted. He needed her.

Sirius ran his hand along the stone wall, trying to imagine her on the other side, wanting to feel her skin beneath his fingertips. That soft porcelain, which sparkled so gently in the moonlight. And those emerald eyes, shimmering like leaves floating down a river on a beautiful sunny day. And those lips, the sumptuous sweetness that emanated through them. But, it was her smile that kept his hope alive. That grin of beauty and of grace. He wanted to see it everyday, for as much as he didn't want to admit it, it reassured him with the hope of the world every time he saw it. He could barely stand it, and he allowed a soft moan of frustration emanate out of his throat. The fact that he was being denied his one light in this world of darkness was eating at him and he didn't know how much longer he could keep his head above the clouds. He could smell her when the girl walked back inside of the common room, and Sirius nearly lost his mind. She was nearby and he couldn't touch her. It was maddening. He was about to rip the portrait open when he calmed himself, moving back to the wall, and grasping onto it desperately as he desired for Kacie to come out. As he pressed his ear against the stone, he yearned to hear her voice, her breath. Then, he felt the air wash through his eardrum, the sound of her voice wafting through his brain. It was like an intoxicating perfume, one that he couldn't live without. All she had said was one word. Okay. It was enough to send his heart into a spiraling zeal, its beat having been an increase in rhythm for the past couple of weeks since she had been gone.

When the portrait swung open, Sirius jumped back, biting the inside of his cheek as he waited for her to emerge. He felt immediately tortured at the sight of her. The bruises upon her face and the cuts on her once flawless skin were making his blood boil, and he had to use every ounce of control he had left to stifle his fury. They did this to her. They hurt her because they were afraid of her. That was the only reason for torture. His heart felt like it was breaking beneath the bones of his ribcage and he stepped forward slowly, silver pools like glistening diamonds of sorrow and affection. When her arms moved around him, he allowed them eagerly, pulling her up into his arms and holding her tight to his body. He didn't want to ever let her go, to let her succumb to the darkness of her despair. He wouldn't leave her sight. He was shocked at her calming tone, but it wafted through him like a cool breeze, soothing his nerves with her reassurance. He moved her slightly, her body sliding down his as he put her back on the ground. But, he didn't let her go. He was too afraid of losing her again. During his frantic hug, her bangs had moved and he saw the deep cut upon her brow. Idly, he moved a muscular hand up to trace it with his fingertips and anger ripped through his chest. "You're staying with me from now on." He meant it, too. He was going to ask Dumbledore if she could stay in the Gryffindors' dormitories until she graduated. But, he was a year older than her. How would he be able to watch after her? He bit his lip. "Merlin, Kacie, do you know what you've done to me?" He allowed a smirk to break across his rather thin lips and he kissed her forehead, wondering what had happened to her when he had been away from her presence. He didn't want to imagine what they had done to her, for it only reminded him of Andromeda. But, if he found out the instigator of the fight, he was going to kill the pathetic excuse of a human being.

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[``kacie marie helms]

When Kacie's emerald eyes landed on Sirius, it felt as if the world was suddenly spinning again, as if she had been deprived of breath for days underwater and was finally allowed up for a breath of fresh air. Her eyes took him in hungrilly, studying the subtle changes in him. His skin was almost the same sun-baked tone, though it looked a bit paler than usual. His hands were rougher, bigger, more masculine than she remembered them to be. His shaggy black hair had grown out a bit, making him look more rougish, though he was still just as devastatingly handsome as before. She saved his eyes for last, the silver pools shining with a mixture of emotions she currently didn't care to distinguish or identify. Her heart flew into her throat as he stepped forward slowly, nerves setting into the pit of her stomach. When her arms moved around him, he allowed them almost eagerly, pulling her up into his arms and holding her tight to his body. She buried her face into the crook between his shoulder and his neck, placing almost frantic, feather-like kisses there. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed him until that moment, and it was then that she realized that she never wanted to let him go. Though, knowing that he would probably prefer her company if she wasn't hanging on his neck like a piece of jewelry all the time, she realized that she would have to. He moved her slightly, her body sliding down his as he put her back on the ground, her arms still resting on the back of his neck. She almost grinned when he didn't let her go; she didn't want him to. As he pulled away from her, she smiled up at him, her eyes suddenly filling with tears of joy, something that had never happened to her before. A small, quiet laugh escaping her, she lifted one of her hands up, and brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face, tucking the rather long strand behind his ear. "I've missed you so much," she whispered, willing herself not to blush at this sudden confession. She pressed the top of her forehead to the bottom of his, as he was so tall, and closed her eyes, hanging onto the joyous feeling of finally having him there, in her arms, and not having to let him go.

Yet.

During his frantic hug, Kacie's bangs had moved, and she could tell from the look of anger in his eyes that he saw the deep cut upon her brow. Idly, he moved a muscular hand up to trace it with his fingertips, and her face wrinkled at the sudden stinging sensation that ran along the cut. "You're staying with me from now on." He said, more a demand than a request. She would have protested it, had it not been a choice between being with him and the Slytherin Common Room. She loved being around Sirius, she really did, but when it came to people ordering her about, she was more stubborn than a mule. Even Dumbledore quickly learned not to order her about. Now, he simply planted seeds for ideas to burst forth, or offered an occassional bit of "friendly advice". Sirius bit his lip, and she forced herself not to think about how much such a simple act affected her. "Merlin, Kacie, do you know what you've done to me?" He allowed a smirk to break across his rather thin lips and he kissed her forehead, and she closed her eyes at the sensation, barely registering what he had said. After a moment, her eyes fluttered open again, and she replied smartly, "Well, I hope it's the same as what you've done to me, otherwise you'll have a lot of catching up to do." She silently thanked God and Merlin that Sirius was there. She didn't want to think about what had happened that night when she left the Room of Requirement, at least not yet. There would be plenty of time to explain it to Sirius later, preferably when he's out of school and out attacking Death Eaters with a really pointy wand.

Kacie couldn't get enough of looking at him. It felt as if it had been decades since she had last laid eyes on him, instead of days. Her emerald eyes studied him hungrily, not wanting to forget a single detail of his appearance. Arms still wrapped around his neck, one hand eventually found itself twirling long strands of his hair, while the other found its way to his jaw, her fingertips brushing over the faint stubble gently. She smiled. "Decide to try a new look, or was this all for my benefit?" She joked, her green eyes flashing with amusement. Her thumb lightly grazed his bottom lip, and her smile momentarilly disappeared. "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I didn't mean to make you worry or anything...hell, I don't even know why I didn't just...I didn't want you to see me like this, y'know? And...I was afraid," she admitted, looking away from him. She was ashamed of herself, of her admission. She was ashamed of her fear of what the Slytherins had threatened to do to him, was ashamed of the fear she felt at the thought of Sirius hating her. No wonder the hat put her in Slytherin. Despite what Helena might have said that night in the North Tower, she was far from brave. She was a coward.

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius felt relief wash through ever fiber in his body when he was met with those beautiful emerald eyes. He could see that she held the same kind of feelings inside of her chest, for her heart was worn so plainly on her sleeve. The desire for him was nearly tangible, but he didn't blame her. He was the most attractive man alive. He figured he probably looked a little rough, considering the fact that he had been worried sick about her, but he didn't think about that too much. When he felt her face at his neck, he couldn't stifle a shiver of pleasure and reprieve. For so many days, he had thought her dead or close to it. After all, he had received no word from her for ages so what was he supposed to think? When her full lips pressed against his skin so tenderly, his grip around her tightened and he pulled her face away ever so slightly before kissing her hungrily. Sirius liked being this close to her, and the pleasure shooting through his body at her touches and kisses made him want her more. When he stopped and found himself staring into those beautiful eyes, he grinned at the happiness filtering through them. He thought it odd for her to be so joyous, merely because he hadn't seen her like this in a very long time. "Merlin, I thought I'd never hear you laugh again. How about a smile?" He touched her lips with his fingers before quickly replacing his arm around her waist again, as if he were afraid she would escape if he didn't keep his grip tight. When her hand swept across his face, he smiled wide, hearing her words as if they were full of sweet perfume. "Of course you did, Helms. I didn't think you could survive so long without me." He chuckled softly and then hugged her to him tightly once more. Tenderly, he moved his lips to her ear and murmured, "I don't think you realize how your absence has affected me." He kissed her cheek, eager to show her that he was willing to do anything to prove to her that he was there for her and always would be.

At the cringe from whence his fingertips traced her cut, Sirius felt more anger boil inside of him. He could feel his blood churning like lava, the rapturous liquid threatening to overtake him in its madness. He knew that his demand was rather harsh, but he didn't care. He didn't want her hurt again. He clenched his jaw as a Slytherin walked by them and then gnashed his teeth at the other boy, as if he were a guard dog protecting his love. "Filthy bastard! I suppose you think you're better than everyone else? Well, you'll be sorry once we graduate! I'll make sure to get rid of all you damned pure-blood maniacs!" He growled ferociously, watching as the Seventh Year Slytherin smirked at him and then darted into the Common Room when Sirius began to advance. He growled at the Portrait Hole and then yelled, "COWARDS! BLOODY COWARDS!" He was fuming. All he saw was red. Breathing deeply, he turned to face Kacie again. "I might kill everyone in that entire house if you don't stay with me in the Gryffindor Common Room. I don't think Dumbeldore will mind." He was fighting for control of himself, but he knew it wasn't going to last, not unless he cooled off. He felt himself relaxing as he moved himself back to her, encompassing her in his arms once more. He didn't want to describe the feeling bubbling in his chest, and he wasn't going to admit it aloud, but he felt like he loved Kacie. It was more than just a friend kind of love, too. But, he couldn't say anything about it. It may hurt his pride if she didn't feel the same way. Besides, what if she disappeared from him again or was killed? He couldn't handle having been in such a relationship and blaming himself for her being hurt, which was what he was doing right now. If he hadn't believed her when she had told him she was alright, he could have protected her from this. "You have no idea," he whispered in a tortured voice, his heart twisting with guilt.

Sirius wanted to kiss every part of her he could see, from her gorgeous lips to that porcelain skin that covered her entire body. To stifle part of his desire, he touched her lips to his once more, keeping them there for quite a long time. Then, he hugged her, trying to make sure he wasn't suffocating her or anything. He just felt like it had been a century since he had last seen her or heard her voice. He chuckled darkly at her question, throwing her a rather defeated look. How could she think that it wasn't all for her? Everything he'd done lately had been for her benefit. Most knew that when he got upset, he let his appearance go a little bit, but only his black locks and facial hair. When he was particularly distressed over something, he would work out constantly to try and get his mind off of it. If anything, he was more muscular than usual, but not in a good way. He wouldn't eat or sleep when he was troubled. He was thinner, but the muscles were more defined. Softly, he muttered, "It's all been for you, Kacie." Another smile flew across his full lips. He guffawed loudly. She would probably hear about his extreme depression from Remus or someone, but he didn't want to let on how much he had been upset. He knew it would bother her. He gave her another soft kiss upon her forehead before saying, "Don't ever be afraid of anything having to do with me, Kacie. I'll never leave you. I swear it on my life." For some reason, there was a deep-seated feeling in his gut where he knew he would keep this promise. He was dead serious, as his name.

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[``kacie marie helms]

Kacie smiled softly as she took in Sirius' appearance. He looked a tad worse for the wear, but he was still that same, painfully beautiful man she had come to lo like over the course of the year. As she gazed at him unabashedly, she could detect the tiniest flicker of the Sirius she had known before all of this happened, the cocky, over-confident pureblood Gryffindor that tended to woo anything with a skirt in a ten-mile radius. At first, she really had been unfazed by him. She had merely thought him as low and shallow as she had once viewed Potter, too consumed with his own looks and brawn to notice the important things in life. Once he opened his mouth and spoke to her like a human being, however...she had caught a glimpse of the real man behind the enchanting silver eyes. She was beginning to wear her heart on her sleeve before him, and, though she knew it was dangerous, she did not care. She was willing to fight the odds for him. It took being without him for days with no contact, and finally being in his presence once more, for her to realize that fact. He was beginning to become like a drug to her, addictive and completely deadly. She stifled a smirk of satisfaction as she felt him shiver against her at her actions. Though, in the back of her mind, she had known he was safe, she had always worried inside the walls of the Slytherin common room. She could not know whether he was safe or not when she was not with him, could not know whether he was feeling as completely isolated as she was. When her full lips pressed against his skin tenderly, his grip around her tightened and he pulled her face away ever so slightly before kissing her hungrily. Kacie gasped at the sensation that spread to her very toes, and kissed him back with just as much passion and vigor as he. She loved the intimacy, the closeness of this moment, and she craved it more than anything in the world. It helped her to forget all of her troubles, all of her memories, the world around them, and simply let her focus on...this. When he stopped she found herself staring into the silver pools of his eyes, he grinned at her, causing an identical, impish grin to grace her own lips. "Merlin, I thought I'd never hear you laugh again. How about a smile?" He touched her lips with his fingers before quickly replacing his arm around her waist again, as if he were afraid she would escape if he didn't keep his grip tight. She looked down at his hand around her waist shyly, offering him a small smile as she returned her gaze to his face. Something as simple as his touch shouldn't cause such sensations to erupt. His skin was like fire, transferring to her arm, her waist, her lips, when a part of him came into contact with them. "Only if you offer one of your own in return," she replied, a mischevious smirk twitching her lips, though she forced them to remain flat. When her hand swept across his face, he smiled wide. "Of course you did, Helms. I didn't think you could survive so long without me." He chuckled softly and then hugged her to him tightly once more. Kacie rolled her eyes as she clutched him tightly, telling him how much she had missed him without words as she spoke the rather contradicting statement, "Pshh. Clearly you are under a misconception, Joker, for you appear to look in worse shape than I." Though, that was entirely due to the concealment charms she had performed on herself a few hours ago. There were far more bruises lying beneath the mask, she was simply a good actress. Tenderly, he moved his lips to her ear and murmured, "I don't think you realize how your absence has affected me." Kacie allowed a shaky breath to escape her as she replied quietly, not trusting her voice, "And I don't think you realize how much it killed me to stay away." He kissed her cheek, as if eager to show her that he was willing to do anything to prove to her that he was there for her and always would be. She did not feel ashamed to believe him.

Kacie could see the anger flash in Sirius' silver eyes as she cringed from his touch, and she resisted the urge to apologize. That would only make him angrier, though she was sure he would understand her immediate reaction. In her years at home before her father's passing, she had been used to randomly undeserved slaps, blows, warnings of executions. She had gotten used to apologizing for crying because the bruises hurt so badly, used to the beatings that grew harsher with every agonized cry or sign of a flinch. His eyes were hard and cold, and she knew he was thinking about the other Slytherins when he'd made his demand, and that he meant well by it, but she could take care of herself. He didn't need to look after her. Just as she was about to point this out, however, she noticed the clenching of Sirius' jaw as a Slytherin walked by them and then gnashed his teeth at the other boy, as if he were a guard dog protecting his home. "Filthy bastard! I suppose you think you're better than everyone else? Well, you'll be sorry once we graduate! I'll make sure to get rid of all you damned pure-blood maniacs!" He growled ferociously, watching as the Seventh Year Slytherin smirked at him and then darted into the Common Room when Sirius began to advance. Kacie's eyes widened as he growled at the Portrait Hole and then yelled, "COWARDS! BLOODY COWARDS!" He was fuming; she could see. She knew that if she didn't get him away from there soon that there would be trouble. Slytherins didn't take well to being called out on their own turf. Breathing deeply, Sirius turned to face Kacie again. "I might kill everyone in that entire house if you don't stay with me in the Gryffindor Common Room. I don't think Dumbeldore will mind." Kacie took his face in her hands gently, yet with enough force to make him look her in the eyes, hers shining with determination, worry, and fear. She did not care what the Slytherins did to her; she cared about what she knew they would do to him. "Sirius," she said slowly, "All right. I'll go with you, we'll talk to Dumbledore, whatever. But please, please let's get out of here now. I couldn't stand it if they got to you." She knew them, knew their plots, their plans. She knew that they would not treat Sirius the way they had Adromeda. If they got a hold of Sirius....images flashed through her mind, and, grabbing his hand and jerking him down the cold and empty dungeon away from the Slytherin common room, she was sure that she had avoided any chance of him seeing the tears in her eyes. She took a slow, deep breath as she sauntered on, his hand grasped firmly in hers, in order to calm herself. She sighed contentedly as Sirius moved himself back to her, encompassing her in his arms once more. She knew in that moment that she loved him, that she could not allow anything to happen to him, though she would not admit the former aloud. It would hurt far more than any Unforgivable if he did not return her affections, and that was one risk she was not willing to take with him. Eager to brush away the suddenly depressing thoughts pressing her mind, she looked up at him with a mischevious glint in her eye. "Come with me to the Lake," she asked excitedly, the new idea suddenly the only thing she could think about, the only thing she allowed herself to think about, "I want to show you something." "You have no idea," he whispered in a tortured voice, and she felt her heart crying out in agony at his statement. She brushed a stray strand of black hair out of the bright silver orbs as she murmured, her own voice laced with its own agony, "Well, I guess we have a lot of catching up to do, don't we?"

Sirius touched her lips to his once more, a feiry sensation erupting so powerfully that it curled her toes, keeping them there for quite a long time. Then, he hugged her gently, as if trying to make sure he wasn't suffocating her or causing any harm. Though she still felt the bruises beneath the concealment charm, she never let on, and did not allow herself to show the physical pain shining in her eyes. The Slytherins had done a hell of a number on her that night, harsh enough to wear she was still feeling it. While she was in the common room after that, she had fought off every Slytherin she saw, losing several parts due to the typical four-to-one ratio against her. He chuckled darkly at her question, throwing her a rather defeated look. She was trying to make light of the situation in any way she could. After all that had occured between them, her admittion to her lineage, the death of her brother...the current situation they were dealing with now...she simply wanted a change, wanted a reason to smile and laugh again. It was far too exhausting to be angry and bitter all the time, and she no longer had the strength to care for such fierce and harsh feelings. She wanted to be happy, to have fun, to live life. She had seen too much darkness for her days, and she was eager to begin something happy and somewhat carefree. She wanted to live part of her childhood before it was too late. Softly, he muttered, "It's all been for you, Kacie." Another smile flew across his full lips, and he guffawed loudly. She could hear all of the emotions laced in those words: tenderness, bitterness, worry...and something else that she could not put a name on. "I wish I wasn't the cause of such an unhealthy habit, though I do admit it boosts my ego to know you've been thinking about me," she joked half-heartedly, offering him a small, impish smile. He gave her another soft kiss upon her forehead before saying, "Don't ever be afraid of anything having to do with me, Kacie. I'll never leave you. I swear it on my life." Kacie shook her head at his statement, somewhat angry that he wasn't understanding what she had meant. "I'm not so shallow as to think you would leave me because I didn't look presentable," she muttered, her voice close to breaking as she continued, "I know you might be thinking that I give them too much credit, but...they know things. They know so much more than Dumbledore can comprehend, even after I've told him time and time again..." She trailed off, blinking rapidly as she tried to control her words, but they just continued to flow freely from her uncensored mouth. "They went easy on Adromeda, they actually thought she would change! She was lucky! I was lucky! You, Potter, Remus....They would not hesitate to kill you, Sirius. Would not blink an eye, nor shed a tear at the thought of you dead, and it kills me that you taunt them so, practically begging them to do it! Do you know how much it hurt me? To hear their taunting voices as they each took their turn with their wands on me that night? All they kept saying was 'Where's your hero now, huh, mudblood? When you're gone, he's next.'" She crossed her arms as she turned away from him, holding herself together as she whispered through broken tears she had not allowed herself to shed in front of the Slytherins. "Do you know how much it hurt to know that they were right? That I was a mudblood and a traitor. That I didn't deserve to be near you, let alone have your friendship..."

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius could feel the awkwardness growing inside of him, but he didn't know why. Here was a beautiful girl standing in front of him, practically desperate for his attention and he was feeling the need to turn and run from her. What the hell? Why did he was to get away from her? With a sudden realization, he knew why. He knew that in this moment, he would have to choose her or not. He would have to make the decision to love only her or forget about his deep affections of her forever. He didn't know why it had to be so extreme, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. After all, he saw the world in black and white, for there were no gray areas. Just like with his parents, he saw white when they only saw black in the subject of muggleborns. Sirius considered them to be respectable human beings, no matter their blood type, but his parents never gave them a chance. Even Sirius was bound to give some Slytherins a chance, just look at the girl in front of him! Oh, Merlin, what was he doing? He was falling in love with a girl that he would probably continue to see after this year in Auror Training. So, then, what was he afraid of? Her getting hurt. What if he--dare he think it--married her? What if Death Eaters used that to her advantage and caught her off guard, then somehow captured Sirius and made him watch their brutal torture of her? He knew he was thinking of the worst-case scenario, but knowing Death Eaters . . . Sirius shivered. If it came to that, and he figured that it would, he was going to rip every piece of swine apart to save his love. Love? Was that what she was to him? He knew it to be true, but he wasn't sure he was going to admit it. Instead of manning up to his true feelings, he stifled them deep within his heart, focusing his silver eyes back on her beautiful emeralds. No wonder James was so in love with Lily's eyes. But, to Sirius, Lily's were lackluster compared to Kacie's shimmering green pools. And, Lily was extremely annoying so the raven-haired boy could never find a reason to like her. When he noticed her gaze flicker down to his arm that encompassed her waist, he gave her a slick smile before muttering, "You're not getting away from me this time, Kacie." He did as he was told, grinning like a silly First year, ignorant to the ways of the world. But in this moment with her, he felt just like that. Nothing else mattered as long as she stared back into his eyes. Sirius felt a small painful lurch begin in his heart at her words. She really had no idea how much truth was in her statement of his appearance. He had been worried sick about her, constantly asking anyone from Slytherin (that he knew was trustworthy) and the teachers how Kacie was faring. Hardly any of them knew, save for Dumbledore but he wouldn't let on much other than the fact that he knew Kacie was still alive. And, damn it, that had eaten at Sirius's nerves. Softly, he nuzzled his face into her dark brown hair, breathing in the scent before whispering with a hint of pain, "For the longest time, I thought they had killed you, Kacie." He hated himself for mentioning such a thing aloud and moved so she could see him give her a soft and forgiving smile. He heard a hidden tone in her words and became suddenly alarmed. There was a slight shimmer of pain and untruthfulness in her tongue, though Sirius could not place it. He stared at her searchingly, eager to find out what she was hiding. He could feel a slight anger burning in him at her obvious disregard for believing him to be compassionate and careful towards her. He wanted nothing but her safety and health. "Don't do that to me, Kacie. Don't just lock up parts of the whole story. If this is going to work, our bizarre friendship, then you're going to have to stop being so stubborn as to think of me as indifferent to your well-being." His silver gaze was stern and he was eager to hear her reply, though he doubted she would say anything else about what the damned Slytherins did to her. When she spoke again, his expression softened. He gave her a sheepish grin before muttering, "At least you knew I was alive." Then, another apologetic smile fluttered onto his face. He hadn't meant to say such a thing, but he was a little angry that she had chosen to simply ignore his letters and requests for her to come out and see him.

Sirius regretted acting the way he did. He closed the lids over his eyes for a single moment, willing himself to calm down. He could release his anger upon the Slytherins when it was necessary. Not around Kacie. He wasn't going to tell her his plans for hurting them. He was sure the other Marauders would be okay with this once they knew. After all, they hated what Kacie's absence had done to Sirius, although Remus's speculation just pissed him off. But, then again, Sirius figured the Werewolf could read him like a book, more so than James could. It was odd, but Remus was just more intuitive then any of them. He wasn't really surprised but hated himself for making it so obvious. For making his love of Kacie so apparent to so accepting friends. When he studied about her face for a moment, he clenched his jaw at seeing the flash of hardheadedness tremble throughout her features. With a raised brow, he practically hissed, "You think you can be by yourself forever, Kacie, but you can't! Damn it, it's like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes! I--" He stopped, catching himself before he finished his tell-tale sentence. He couldn't say those words yet. If she hadn't figured it out by now, then he wasn't going to mention it. He was a fool for falling in love with a girl as stubborn as he. There would be no compromise on anything. She was always going to feel the need to be on her own unless she changed that herself. When he saw more Slytherins walk by, he screamed, "I can kill all of you bloody bastards without a wand! I can rip your throats out! HOW DARE YOU USE YOUR DAMNED SUPERIORITY TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU'RE NOTHING BUT shit YOURSELVES!" He spit on one that passed by and glared ferociously at the Seventh Year, who looked about to retort when one of his friends pulled him away. At least one of them was smart--Regulus. He snarled again, meeting for a fragment of a second the eyes of his younger brother. Pain laced with fury rippled through his torn body. He couldn't handle this now. He couldn't see his brother at this moment. He was about to advance, but then Kacie pulled him to her, forcing his face in her direction. But his silver pools stayed locked onto his brother's, the agony coursing through his veins was too much, for the anger just ate off of it. He was losing his control of his mind. For a moment, he wondered if this was how Bellatrix felt constantly. If she did feel exactly like this, he had no problem in considering her a bitch. Finally, Regulus disappeared through the portrait hole and Sirius allowed his eyes relief from their strain and let them drown into the green pools of Kacie's eyes. Instantly, he felt comfort wash through him at her gaze and his heart beat slowed to a steadier beat. He didn't really hear what she was saying. He was too focused on the anger that was beginning to bubble in his stomach again. He couldn't see straight. Nothing was clear except for his determination to rip the throats out of the Slytherins that did this to her. And for Merlin's sake! Regulus probably didn't stop them because he was too much of a coward to do anything out of what his parents wanted! When Kacie pulled him through the corridors, he wasn't aware of it. He felt as if he were floating, thinking up ways and plans to reek revenge upon the Slytherins. He didn't really register her words, but made himself focus back upon her. Nodding softly, he agreed. He didn't want to be near the Slytherins that did this to her. "I feel like it's been a lifetime without you, Kacie." The agony in his voice was obvious, but he was curious as to what she wanted to show him. He chuckled to himself slightly for he doubted she had anything he hadn't seen before. "If I see something I've never seen before, I'll throw a galleon at it." A smirk fluttered across his lips and he figured she would hit him or blush at such a comment.

Softly, Sirius pulled her hand towards him and brought her out to the lake, keeping his grip upon hers tight and strong. He wasn't going to let go of her. Even those few moments in the Dungeons, where he had lost it, he still didn't let her out of his sight. At their arrival, he moved to lean against one of the trees, pulling her with him. He kissed the top of her head and then chuckled at her comment. "I'm happy to boost your ego any day. Just come find me and I'll make your demands real." He wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously and then chuckled once more. He raised an eyebrow at her statement and then nodded vigorously. "Of course not! That's not what I was--" But he was cut off by her next flow of words. He felt his grip upon her tighten for an everlasting moment before he slid away from her, staring at her with those silver pools of grief and agony. He knew she was just looking out for him, but how could she be so blind? Didn't she realize that none of them had hearts? Through clenched teeth, he muttered, "If you'd forgotten, I know exactly what it's like to be inside of a pureblood maniac's head, Kacie. Although I never showed my hatred of that kind of thought process to my parents, I acted upon it for a while, before I gained courage to defy them. I know what they know. I can get rid of all of them." For a single moment, he stared at her, willing himself to calm down. He didn't want her to disappear with this anxiety of him being hurt. Then, a cringe washed over his body at the mention of his beloved cousin. He hadn't spoken to her in ages. His heart lurched at the memories of her hurt in the Hospital Wing. Clenching his jaw again, he said, in a shaky voice, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Kacie. None of them give a damn about each other in that house. They gain buddies to get higher up in the food chain. They couldn't give a shit whether or not Andromeda died in the torture that was inflicted upon her because the moment she turned her face away to delve into activities with a muggleborn, she was burnt off the map. One single mistake and they get rid of you, Kacie. You can't possibly grasp the full realization that once you admitted to your true heritage, all trust (even the small amount) for you had disappeared completely. It will never be gained back." His mind drifted to the tapestry of the Family tree at his house. He remembered when his Uncle Alphard, who gave him gold but was later removed from the Tree because of his support. He had learned this from Narcissa, who despite what others thought, was truly a sweet girl at heart but she seemed to Sirius to be a doll of sorts, doing everything she was told and perfect at every angle. Placing his gaze back upon Kacie, he whispered, "When are you going to learn? I don't fear death as much as other people, especially if I die doing what's right or protecting those that I love." When she spoke of their taunts, his blood began to boil. He could picture it, their snickering and triumph while they were together. But, get one alone, and he was a coward. Swine, they all were. There were few that were like Kacie in such a house of evil. Furiously, he muttered, "How dare they say such a thing! They had no right to taunt you in such a way, Kacie! THEY ARE ALL COWARDS AND CAN ONLY DO SOMETHING NASTY WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER! I WISH I COULD FACE THEM ALL AT ONCE AND KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID TO YOU!" Tears swam in his eyes and he felt for the first time in his life, an overwhelming feeling in the pit of his stomach, bubbling faster and faster until it reached his heart. Upon impact, he gazed at Kacie and then advanced upon her. With passion, he grasped her face in his hands and kissed her. But, not just her lips, but the rest of her face, every inch of skin upon her visage did he caress or impact softly with his lips. Finally, he moved away from her a little, his voice hoarse as he whispered, "You'll never understand what I feel knowing what they did to you, Kacie. I--I can't even think straight because every thought now consists of me wanting to kill every one of them, even the ones that stood by and watched. And, do you know why I feel so disturbed? Why I felt so empty without you by my side for so long? I feared the worst and most of those anxieties have come true. But, that's not the most shocking thing of your reappearance. With seeing you again, I have learned something. You may not have noticed, but . . ." His voice trailed off, the velvet tone choking with the tears streaming down his face. A beautiful smile flickered onto his lips, tinging his pained visage with a handsomeness that didn't take much to achieve.

"I have fallen quite maddeningly in love with you."

[/size]

[``kacie marie helms]

Kacie could see the sudden conflict raging in his silver eyes. In all honesty, she couldn't help but think along the same lines she knew he was thinking. Was this really right? She didn't deserve to love - or be loved - by someone like Sirius. She knew that she would only complicate his life further, would only make things worse, in the end. She repressed a sigh of pain. In the end... What if he died? What if she died? She didn't think she could handle the idea of seeing Sirius broken and mangled body before her after Voldemort was finished with him. What if, one day, their love for one another became nonexistant, and they grew bitter with one another? They already fought like cats and dogs, and could hardly agree on anything. They were both simply too stubborn for their own good. What if they ever - she swallowed - got married? It wasn't exactly on her list of to-dos, nor did she believe that it was a part of Sirius'. What if Voldemort used that against them, though? She knew that he would want her dead. After all, she had divulged important information to Dumbledore in the Order's cause. He would kill her without a moment's hesitation, but was she willing to risk Sirius' life, as well? Was she really that selfish? The look in his eyes as he stared at her caused goosebumps to rise on her arms. She could feel as if she could get lost in his eyes forever. She could see every thought, every feeling he had ever had in his gaze. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, and Kacie knew by staring into his that he had a truly beautiful soul. When Sirius noticed her gaze flicker down to his arm that encompassed her waist, he gave her a slick smile before muttering, "You're not getting away from me this time, Kacie." He did as he was told, grinning like a silly First year, ignorant to the ways of the world. Kacie grinned back, tapping the tip of his nose with her forefinger as she muttered, "Your command. My wish." Softly, he nuzzled his face into her dark brown hair, breathing in the scent before whispering with a hint of pain, "For the longest time, I thought they had killed you, Kacie." She felt the wind being knocked out of her at his words. How could she have been so heartless? She had left him nothing - no note, no message from inside - as to how she was, whether she was alive or not. She buried her face into the crook of his neck and closed her eyes tightly, pressing her lips gently at the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I don't even know what I was thinking anymore...I'm so sorry for making you worry." He moved so she could see him give her a soft and forgiving smile, which quickly faded at her next words left her tongue. He looked strangely alarmed, and he stared at her searchingly, as if eager to find out what she was hiding. "Don't do that to me, Kacie. Don't just lock up parts of the whole story. If this is going to work, our bizarre friendship, then you're going to have to stop being so stubborn as to think of me as indifferent to your well-being." His silver gaze was stern and eager. Kacie bit back a scoff at his comment. Friendship. Well, that certainly was a vague word to describe their situation. When she spoke again, his expression softened. He gave her a sheepish grin, which she gladly returned, before muttering, "At least you knew I was alive." Then, another apologetic smile fluttered onto his face as she frowned. She knew she deserved this, to be reminded of how much of a bitch she really was, and she hoped that Sirius would forgive her, in time. You can't change the past, they say, though you can have hope to change the future.

Sirius closed the lids over his eyes for a single moment, as if willing himself to calm down. When he studied about her face for a moment, he clenched his jaw agrily, as if he saw something in her eyes that absolutely infurtiated him. With a raised brow, he practically hissed, "You think you can be by yourself forever, Kacie, but you can't! Damn it, it's like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes! I--" He stopped, catching himself before he finished his sentence. She honestly wanted to know what he was going to say, but at the moment, she didn't care. She was furious. "What makes you think I'm going to be by myself forever, huh? And I'd rather be a brick wall than to be some mindless skeeze who agrees with everything you say! Honestly, Sirius, sometimes you can be so...ugh!" She broke off her statement with a growl of irritation. She hated it when he spoke such words to her; it made her feel almost worthless. Then again, when he was as passionate as he was now, she could truly believe that he was human. He was beyond infuriating at times, but that was one of the things she loved about him the most. Love. Did she love him? It was such a ridiculous question to ask herself when she already knew the answer, but she could not deny the feeling of sudden ease when she admitted it to herself. Kacie loved Sirius. The only question she had now was, did he love her? When he saw more Slytherins walk by, he screamed, "I can kill all of you bloody bastards without a wand! I can rip your throats out! HOW DARE YOU USE YOUR DAMNED SUPERIORITY TO HURT SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU'RE NOTHING BUT shit YOURSELVES!" He spit on one that passed by and glared ferociously at the Seventh Year, who looked about to retort when one of his friends pulled him away. At least one of them was smart--Regulus. He snarled again, meeting for a fragment of a second the eyes of his younger brother. Pain laced with fury rippled through his torn body. Kacie gently tugged at his arm. "Sirius, stop it! They're not worth it!" He was about to advance when Kacie pulled him to her, forcing his face in her direction. But his silver pools stayed locked onto his brother's, the agony coursing through his veins was too much, for the anger just ate off of it. Finally, Regulus disappeared through the portrait hole, nodding coldly to Kacie as he did so, and Sirius allowed his eyes relief from their strain and let them drown into the green pools of the Sixth Year Slytherin's eyes. Nodding softly, he agreed. She knew he didn't want to be near the Slytherins that did this to her. "I feel like it's been a lifetime without you, Kacie." The agony in his voice was obvious, and she offered a small smile in response. "Same here, love," she murmured, "Same here." He chuckled to himself slightly for he doubted she had anything he hadn't seen before. "If I see something I've never seen before, I'll throw a galleon at it." A smirk fluttered across his lips and Kacie smirked in reply, a mischevious glint in her eye. "Looks like I'll be a Galleon richer, then," she replied with an impish grin, pausing when they reached the lake. When she turned to face him, his silver eyes glinting in the moonlight made her pause for breath. He was, quite literally, breathtaking. She let go of his hand, stepping backward. "No one knows this about me. Not even Thomas, though I did this for him..." She bit her lower lip nervously, "When my dad was still alive, I knew that things happened with Thomas when I was away at school, but he never told me. In first year, I was looking through all these books, after I was late to a class, and McGonnagal turned from a cat into herself in front of my very eyes. It captivated me, and it sprung an idea that wouldn't stop nagging at me. I knew it was dangerous, especially to try it alone, but I had to." Taking a deep breath, Kacie closed her eyes, focusing on what she knew she would become. The tingling sensation spread from her head to her toes, and when she opened her eyes once more, she knew she had changed. The pale, white wolf, stared up at Sirius with wide, curiuos emerald eyes, several faint grey marks on its stomach, back, arms and legs. Symbols of both the short and long-term scars she had recieved in her life.

Softly, Sirius pulled her hand towards him and brought her out to the lake, keeping his grip upon hers tight and strong. She had a feeling he wasn't going to let go of her. At their arrival, he moved to lean against one of the trees, pulling her with him. He kissed the top of her head and then chuckled at her comment. "I'm happy to boost your ego any day. Just come find me and I'll make your demands real." He wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously and then chuckled once more. Kacie smirked, raising her own eyebrows in response. "Is that an offer or a suggestion?" He raised an eyebrow at her statement and then nodded vigorously. "Of course not! That's not what I was--" But he was cut off by her next flow of words. He felt his grip upon her tighten for an everlasting moment before he slid away from her, staring at her with those silver pools of grief and agony. Through clenched teeth, he muttered, "If you'd forgotten, I know exactly what it's like to be inside of a pureblood maniac's head, Kacie. Although I never showed my hatred of that kind of thought process to my parents, I acted upon it for a while, before I gained courage to defy them. I know what they know. I can get rid of all of them." Kacie scoffed at his cockiness, "And you call me naive? You honestly believe that you can fight all of them, get rid of all of the Death Eaters in the world? I don't mean to burst your bubble, Sirius, but for every good person in this world, there are three more waiting in line to ruin their lives! You might have lived inside the head of several Purebloods for awhile, Sirius, but you haven't lived inside Voldemort's. You can't beat them all by yourself." For a single moment, he stared at her, as if willing himself to calm down. Then, a cringe washed over his body at the mention of his cousin. Clenching his jaw again, he said, in a shaky voice, "I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Kacie. None of them give a damn about each other in that house. They gain buddies to get higher up in the food chain. They couldn't give a shit whether or not Andromeda died in the torture that was inflicted upon her because the moment she turned her face away to delve into activities with a muggleborn, she was burnt off the map. One single mistake and they get rid of you, Kacie. You can't possibly grasp the full realization that once you admitted to your true heritage, all trust (even the small amount) for you had disappeared completely. It will never be gained back." Kacie narrowed her eyes angrily at him. "You think I don't know that?!" She demanded, "You think I don't know that they would drop anyone at the drop of a hat! As much as you think you know about them, Sirius, it's been a few years. Your family might not have cared so much about Adromeda after she made her choice, but there were still several..." She shuddered in disgust, "optimistics who simply thought she was going through a phase....Do you know how many times I had to convince them not to attack a muggleborn?" she demanded in a cool voice, "How many times I had to remind them that Voldemort didn't want inexperienced children who barely knew how to perform the Patronus charm in his army? How getting them expelled in their Third Year would only lead them to disappointment and death?" She swallowed the bile that was accumulating in her throat, not willing to divulge any more. She had hated it there, had hated everything about that place. She was glad to be rid of it. Placing his gaze back upon Kacie, he whispered, "When are you going to learn? I don't fear death as much as other people, especially if I die doing what's right or protecting those that I love." Kacie shook her head at him, angry that he thought so little about his own life. "Sometimes, Sirius, you are just so stupid!" she exclaimed, "I don't care whether you fear death or not, Sirius, I care that you're so willing to put your life at risk for someone else, let alone someone like me. It hurts that you seem to care so little about your own life, that I seem to care about your well-being more than you do!" She resisted to urge to let the tears fall, though her emerald eyes shimmered in the moonlight. It felt like her heart was being pressed into the ground with a heavy weight, and that nothing would be able to lift the burden. Furiously, Sirius muttered, "How dare they say such a thing! They had no right to taunt you in such a way, Kacie! THEY ARE ALL COWARDS AND CAN ONLY DO SOMETHING NASTY WHEN THEY'RE TOGETHER! I WISH I COULD FACE THEM ALL AT ONCE AND KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM FOR WHAT THEY DID TO YOU!" She could feel her heart break as she saw the tears swimming in his silver eyes. He gazed at Kacie and then advanced upon her. With passion, he grasped her face in his hands and kissed her, and her hands instinctively tangled themselves into his soft, ebony hair. He did not kiss just her lips, but the rest of her face, every inch of skin upon her visage did he caress or impact softly with his lips. Her eyes closed softly at the sensation, the feeling of fire spreading through her entire body, curling her toes as she held still for him. Finally, he moved away from her a little, his voice hoarse as he whispered, "You'll never understand what I feel knowing what they did to you, Kacie. I--I can't even think straight because every thought now consists of me wanting to kill every one of them, even the ones that stood by and watched. And, do you know why I feel so disturbed? Why I felt so empty without you by my side for so long? I feared the worst and most of those anxieties have come true. But, that's not the most shocking thing of your reappearance. With seeing you again, I have learned something. You may not have noticed, but . . ." His voice trailed off, the velvet tone choking with the tears streaming down his face. A beautiful smile flickered onto his lips, tinging his pained visage with a handsomeness that didn't take much to achieve. She smiled softly back, a few drops of salty tears falling from her own eyes.

"I have fallen quite maddeningly in love with you."

Kacie gasped at his statement, and her heart swelled and sang a million different tunes. She blinked rapidly, surprised by his declaration. She swallowed the lump in her throat, cradling his face in her hands as she stared into his eyes, into his heart, into his soul. "Sirius Black," she whispered, "You are the most stubborn, pompous, cocky, infurtiating man I have ever met. We do nothing but apologize to one another and bicker until I think our heads are about to burst. We don't agree on hardly anything, and when we do, it's about a subject that ruins any form of romantic mood we worked up for each other...." She trailed off, a small, triumphant smile gracing her features. "And I would rather fall in love with someone who infuriates the hell out of me day after day, than to fall in love with someone who agrees with everything I say and listens to my every whim...'Cause we both know that's annoying as hell." She chuckled lowly, pressing a light, yet passionate kiss on his full lips. She grinned at him. "My heart's already yours, Sirius. It's up to you what you want to do with it."

[[OOC::: Aww :biggrin: *tear*]]

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius wanted desperately to be like James in the ways of love. He wanted to be able to desire marriage with a girl just like James did with Lily. He wanted that for he and Kacie, for he felt that she deserved more than what she had been given in life and he considered himself able to give her anything and everything she desired. Softly, he whispered, "I could give you the world, if only you wanted it. You have my life and my soul, Kacie. I shall never give it to another girl. In you it shall reside forever, but what you do with it is your choice." He hadn't meant to be so cold with her, so blunt, but what else did she expect of Sirius Black? He was quite immediate with his words unless they were on the subject of his brother or family, but this was different. This was the girl that he had fallen head over heels in love with and all he saw was her. With another apologetic smile, he kissed the top of her forehead, begging her to forgive his regretful statements with his glistening silver pools. He chuckled slightly at her comment. Worry? He had been on the opposite spectrum of worry. He had been in panic mode. There was nothing she could do to erase the time he had spent pining for her and waiting for her almost every night to see if she would come out and meet him at the lake. Just because he had told her one night, he made sure to go out every night, just in case she decided to meet him there. But, every evening he was disappointed, his heart sinking just a little bit lower into the depths of his body, caving in around his ribcage. She could not know the depth of his despair at her absence, for he had nothing to go on for her safety or her life, just a fragment of hope burning in his soul, flickering just enough to keep him sane. She had lost a most beloved brother, but he had lost a love. It was much the same in a way, and he had already forgiven her for it, but he couldn't help but wonder if the hole in his chest would ever be repaired. Her standing right in front of him seemed so unreal, so fantastic, that he was still unsure whether or not he could believe it. So, instead of saying a word, he buried his face in her hair, breathing in her sweet scent so that he would never forget it. He wanted to make sure she was real, that she wasn't just an apparition of his impaired mind, riddled with weeks of torment at her being absent from his side.

Regretting his sudden explosion of anger, Sirius sighed. He didn't want to cause such a conflict with so stubborn a person. They were alike in this way, however, and part of that made him attracted to her even more. What the hell was wrong with that? He couldn't stop the tingles running down his spine at her fury, but it wasn't out of fear. Oh no, it was out of his attraction to her. He couldn't get enough of her voice which he had been so cruelly denied for weeks on end. He breathed in softly and muttered, "I'm sorry, Kacie. Listen, I never said you were some kind of slut, nor did I insinuate that you should change. I was merely remarking on your stubbornness, which is somehow . . . breathtaking." Maybe he liked her because she was the girl version of himself. And Merlin, was that hot. But was it selfish and vain to think in such a way? Was he being conceited or was he just glad that there was someone in this world that was more like him in character and in looks? Then, catching her last words, his silver eyes flashed quite dangerously. He had been through Hell these past weeks, ignorant to her well-being and health and she had the audacity to raise her voice at him like this? "What? What can I be like sometimes?" His lips formed a hard thin line upon his face and he waited rather impatiently for a reply. He knew it was wrong to talk to her like this, but part of him didn't care. If she didn't realize how much she meant to him by now, maybe he should just break off all ties with her. "Would you prefer for me to leave and never turn back, Kacie?" His words were like ice, his tone a chilling wintry air. Some side of him thought he was being irrational, but maybe he wasn't. Maybe there was some reality in his words. Maybe she wasn't as passionate for him as he was for her. A snarl ripped through his chest at Kacie mentioning the Slytherins to be worthless. He chuckled darkly before declaring, "Doesn't mean I won't feel the need to SLAUGHTER them!" He knew they were the jam between his toes, but he wanted to harm every one of them for their cruelty against the woman he was in love with and for ruining his family. Everything bad in his life came from the Slytherin Pureblood maniacs. Nothing good ever came from the likes of them and if there were good people in that House, they made sure as hell to stay quiet and in the shadows. "Damn cowards." Before his brother had disappeared, Sirius had seen the nod and he frowned deeply. He snarled slightly and muttered, "Do you talk to him? You actually have the strength to be in the same area as that--that filth?" He tried to calm his heartbeat, which was beating rapidly in his chest, threatening the consumption of his sanity. Glad of the change of subject, Sirius felt himself grin softly. What could she show him that he had never seen before? This peaked his interest, naturally, and he waited with rather bated breath for the revealed thing. When she began to speak, he listened closely, taking her words as if he were a sponge of sorts. He was a little confused, but he didn't interrupt. When she turned into a white wolf, Sirius jumped back, rather alarmed. But then, he fell backwards, chuckling to himself. Should he tell her of his own secret? He stared at her with his silver eyes, gazing into the human-like emeralds of the snowy wolf. He smirked and then said, "I don't believe it, Kacie. To think that you and I could have another thing in common." He shook his head and then changed himself into the big black dog of his animagus form. Then, playfully, he headed towards Kacie, nuzzling his head on hers and whimpering gently. This was simply amazing. When would the similarities stop? He was falling in love with her all over again.

Smirking at her question, Sirius wiggled his eyebrows, his silver puddles glistening with mischief. He wanted her, quite badly, but he knew it wasn't the time for that. He didn't know if he'd be ready for such a commitment, especially when they weren't even an item. "I daresay you should realize which one, my dear." He touched her nose with his index finger, smirking wider. Frowning, Sirius listened closely to her, his silver eyes hardening with a mixture of anger and coldness. Softly, he hissed, "Why did you think I wanted to become an Auror? To make myself appear to be a cut above the rest? There are other ways of ruining people, Kacie." His voice turned almost vicious, the sound very unlike his own. He looked away from her for a moment, imagining all of the ways his family would destroy a person, from the inside out. "There are many ways to kill someone without risking your life." He turned to her, the expression on his face full of a repressed agony that he only seemed to show to her. There was a sort of twisted emotion in the depths of his eyes, as if he were planning the most wicked sort of plan for all those that sought to hurt he and those that he loved. He chuckled darkly, but said nothing in reply to her when she mentioned Voldemort. The purebloods thought just like him. All they wanted was power and the purge of the Wizarding race, so that all of the respectable people that got in their way, no matter their blood status would be slaughtered. People like the Potter's. Sirius felt his fists clench at the thought. If there was ever a time those good people were threatened, Sirius would go insane. They had given him so much, had been more a family than his real one. He was going to make sure to protect them. Sirius sighed when she narrowed her eyes and his own slitted with righteous anger. He shrugged at her question, having clearly doubted it. Obviously, she thought that they cared for Andromeda more than they did for him. Maybe that was true because she was related to the perfect Narcissa and faithful Bellatrix, but Sirius knew positively that at this moment, none of them cared about Andromeda. She wasn't anyone they could use to get higher up, so why have a thought about her? "I make sure to stay informed, despite your blatancy of believing me to be ignorant and rusty in their ways. Your appearance has only strengthened my beliefs and knowledge." He snorted disgustedly at her mention of Andromeda again. She had no idea. Those people didn't care, they were just afraid that if they lost hope in her too soon, they might be punished for it. They only broke off all ties with her after she claimed that she was completely serious in her actions with a muggleborn. He glanced at her, his silver eyes mutinous. "How long did it take them to get over their hopes, Kacie? They knew that she was not going to change and they began to push thoughts of her aside. What do they care about someone that betrayed their kind? Once it was clear that the traitor wasn't going to repent, they wrote them off immediately. They get burnt off the tree." He didn't realize she wouldn't know what he was talking about, but his tone tasted strongly of bitterness. Another dark chuckle escaped through his lips. "And how many times did they listen to you? Don't you think that if you were any sort of threat, they would have just hurt someone disgusting to them without your knowledge of it? Kacie, do you understand what it's like to be raised in such a place of wickedness and cruelty where no one has hearts beneath their rib cages. I sometimes wondered if they were even human." He looked off towards the sky again, his silver eyes clouding with fury at the memories clouding up his mind. He hated his family. He hated them for what they had done to him, his brother, and his cousin. And how could they be so cruel to unsuspecting muggles, the supposed "lesser" race? What kind of mindset is that to live by? It is nothing but evil and Sirius was determined to get rid of it all, for the protection of those he loved. For James, Remus, the Potters, even Kacie. He was going to be the light in this world of darkness. Sirius knew it had been hard for her to live in such a place with the Slytherins, but her six years of simply sleeping in the same room and listening to their conversations was no comparison to the dinner parties he had attended as a child. He couldn't count how many times there had been talks of torture. There was only once where he remembered a muggle being captured and ruthlessly butchered, for fun. The screams . . . Andromeda had saved him from those horrors that night, but that terrible noise had stayed with him for his entire life. He could still hear the wicked laughter at the young woman's tears. His teeth clenched in fury at the memory.

He allowed himself to gaze at her again, listening to her talk of how foolish he really was. But, he didn't care. She couldn't see that he was really a selfless person, living for the reassurance that he could save those he cared for. He raised an eyebrow at her, a sort of calmness washing over him. He tilted his head to the side and waited for her to finish. He leaned closer to her for a moment and whispered, quite emotionless, "Pray tell me why you think it so disgusting that I would be willing to die for a loved one, Kacie. Are you so blind to think that I would want to care more for my life than others? I have believed since a very young age to protect those around me. I cannot even think about allowing someone else pain or death when I could have stopped it. That is why I do not think in times as risky as those. I act on impulse, doing whatever I can to save someone." His mind drifted to the time with Snape, but that was different. He was swine, just like the rest of the Slytherins. The fact that James had saved him was even more disgusting to him, but he supposed he would have at least gotten him out of the way if Remus thought to advance in his Werewolf state. He eyed her closely when she mentioned caring for his well-being more than he did himself. Was she so selfish as to think that she could have him all to herself? If he died protecting her, it would be out of love. What was he doing wrong in pronouncing his deepest belief in self-sacrifice? "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend." He had heard that some where, probably from Andromeda, but he couldn't really remember. It didn't matter, to be honest, for the meaning would always remain the same. If Kacie chose to think of him as suicidal or something of the sort, that was her blindness, not his own. He could not make her see what he saw, nor was he going to try in that respect. As they kissed, Sirius felt as if she belonged to him and vice versa. He had never kissed a girl that made him feel so complete, so loved. To think he had gone years without knowing her was beyond him, but she was here now and he never wanted to be parted with her. He eyed her warily as she gasped, wondering if he had said too much to gain her distaste in him. He wouldn't be surprised if she laughed or berated him for being so arrogant and selfish. That was how everyone saw him anyway. He always seemed to fail at revealing himself as he was, so he just locked those notable parts of himself away. What were they but conjecture anyway? All anyone would see was the Joker trying to get a smile in a darkened world. When her hands moved to either side of her face, he gave her a crooked smile and then placed his hands over hers. He couldn't help but smirk at her insults, for to be honest, he found most of them quite true and flattering. Laughing happily at her words, he allowed himself to become lost in her kiss before he whispered, "I'm glad you feel that way, Kacie, because if you hadn't I would have been thoroughly embarrassed. You are the only girl I never wish to be parted from and when I am, I feel like a part of me is missing. I know that we are both stubborn, cocky, and quite insane, but it is because we are both passionate for our beliefs. What is so wrong with that?" Smiling wider at her statement, he kissed her face again, pressing his lips to every part he could and then moved his mouth quite close to her ear. The voice that protruded from his full lips was full of velvet, trickling with sweetness and sincerity.

"Be mine . . . forever."

[/size]

[``kacie marie helms]

Softly, as Sirius whispered, "I could give you the world, if only you wanted it. You have my life and my soul, Kacie. I shall never give it to another girl. In you it shall reside forever, but what you do with it is your choice," Kacie had held her breath. She had wanted nothing more than to hear Sirius utter words such as this and for them to be true. She wanted to live a long and happy life with him, however unrealistic it may have been to wish. As she felt the tears begin to form in her eyes, she blinked them away, a small, teasing smile gracing her features. "You don't mind if I keep it captive, do you? I'm very protective when it comes to the things I love," she whispered, standing on the tips of her toes and pressing her forehead against his. She encircled him in her arms and closed her eyes, a strange sense of contentment she hadn't felt before spreading through her veins. This was where she wanted to be, where she wanted Sirius to be. Sirius gave her another apologetic smile, and kissed the top of her forehead, begging her silently to forgive him with his glistening silver eyes. She smiled at him, grasping his hand in hers tightly to convey that there was no need for such an apology. He chuckled slightly at her comment, something that caused her to frown in confusion. Kacie could feel nothing but regret and remorse for what she had done to Sirius. She hadn't meant to cause him so much pain and worry because of her absense. At the time, she had thought it was best. She had thought that she was protecting Sirius from the Slytherins, as well as herself. She hated that she was able to hurt him, wanted nothing more than to rid the world of all things that made Sirius' heart endure so much agony. He may forgive her now, or in time, but she knew she would never forgive herself. Sighing internally, she scolded herself for being such a masochist. It seemed as though she enjoyed to wallow in her own pain, caused things to happen that would only lead to more painful endings on her part. She was just beginning to realize just how much her selfish decisions effected others. Sirius buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent as if afraid he would forget it. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, closing her eyes tightly as she breathed in his own scent in response, placing feather-like kisses laced with apology, remorse, and undeniable happiness. She never wanted to let him go, and, if he allowed it, she never would.

Sirius sighed, Kacie giving him a hard stare. Though she loved Sirius, he did have a tendency to infuriate her almost every time they encountered one another. She didn't like it when it happened, but always, afterward, she found it refreshing. Arguing with him was better than not speaking to him at all, she had thought, and she agreed with it whole-heartedly. Plus, there was just something about the light in Sirius' eyes when he was passionate about something. It made him more real and more attractive to her than the first words he had spoken to her that night by the lake. He breathed in softly and muttered, "I'm sorry, Kacie. Listen, I never said you were some kind of slut, nor did I insinuate that you should change. I was merely remarking on your stubbornness, which is somehow . . . breathtaking." Kacie smirked, unbelievably surprised. Her smirk grew into a breathtaking grin, and she laughed, surprising herself. "Sirius Black, apologizing? I never thought I'd see the day," she joked, "And thank you for the compliment. I'd say the same thing about you, but you always happen to steal my lines." Catching her last words, Sirus' silver eyes flashed quite dangerously. "What? What can I be like sometimes?" His lips formed a hard thin line upon his face and he waited rather impatiently for a reply. Kacie's own emeralds glinted with a feiry anger. Hotly, she replied, "Stubborn. Pig-headed. Stubborn. Pompous. Arrogant. Bossy...Did I mention stubborn as a jackass?" Of course, these were the many flaws that she loved about Sirius, but in all honesty, in moments like this, they infuriated her. "Would you prefer for me to leave and never turn back, Kacie?" His words were like ice, his tone a chilling wintry air. She stepped away from him, looking as though she had been slapped. He was giving her an ultimatum? Oh, hell no. Emerald eyes like cold, hard stones, she whispered, her voice monotonous with a hint of anger and hurt she was trying to hide, "If you feel like threatening me with your presense every time something doesn't go your way, than you'd might as well go. If you honestly doubt my feelings enough to make me constantly choose you over solitude, I'd rather deal with the latter. As you clearly don't trust me enough to choose you every time." Unlike other times, where she would have simply looked away from him, she held her ground, staring into his silver eyes almost desperately. She truly was letting him in. If he was so willing to produce ultimatums before her every time they got into an argument, than maybe solitude was better than fighting. She bit her lower lip to stop the tears that wanted to come. For some reason, she felt as if her heart were being stomped on. She was leaving it to Sirius now. Whatever he said next would choose their fate. A snarl ripped through his chest at Kacie mentioning the Slytherins to be worthless. He chuckled darkly before declaring, "Doesn't mean I won't feel the need to SLAUGHTER them!" Kacie simply remained quiet throughout all of this, silently begging him to let it go for now. There were only a few more months until he could begin Auror training, anyway. He didn't need to spend his last months of school expelled, or worse, in Azkaban. "Damn cowards." Before his brother had disappeared, she saw Sirius frown deeply, and she knew he had seen the exchange between the two. He snarled slightly and muttered, "Do you talk to him? You actually have the strength to be in the same area as that--that filth?" Kacie sighed, frowning at Sirius as she muttered, "Why do you think I suggested you talk to Regulus in the first place? I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think it was important." When Kacie turned into a white wolf, Sirius jumped back, rather alarmed. But then, he fell backwards, chuckling to himself. The white wolf gave an almost human-like grin in reply, glad that he had taken the news well. He stared at her with his silver eyes, gazing into the human-like emeralds of the snowy wolf. He smirked and then said, "I don't believe it, Kacie. To think that you and I could have another thing in common." He shook his head and then changed himself into the big black dog of his animagus form. She jumped in shock, a silent yip escaping her at the animals sudden appearance. Then, playfully, he headed towards Kacie, nuzzling his head on hers and whimpering gently. Though Sirius was taller than her by several inches in his human form, the white wolf was a tad bit larger than the black dog, something she felt slightly smug about. She placed her head on the back of his, pulling him slightly closer as she dipped her chin towards her body. She whimpered quietly, rubbing her head playfully against his. This was simply amazing. She'd had no idea that he was an animagus as well. Though it seemed incredibly cliche, she loved it. She could feel her love being reborn and doubled at this discovery. She pulled away from Sirius, glancing at the expanse of the ground around the lake and whimpered softly, conveying the wish to run with him around it. She looked into the human-like silver eyes of the dog and put on the best begging expression she could in this form.

Smirking at her question, Sirius wiggled his eyebrows, his silver puddles glistening with mischief. She smirked in reply, and she had never felt more like a teenager than she did now. Though she was still a virgin, she could not deny the fact that she would like nothing more right now than to jump Sirius where he stood, though she knew that they both were probably not ready for it. Until then, she would simply be content with snogging him like the moonstruck fool that she was. "I daresay you should realize which one, my dear." He touched her nose with his index finger, smirking wider. Kacie grinned. Frowning, Sirius listened closely to her, his silver eyes hardening with a mixture of anger and coldness. Softly, he hissed, "Why did you think I wanted to become an Auror? To make myself appear to be a cut above the rest? There are other ways of ruining people, Kacie." His voice turned almost vicious, the sound very unlike his own. Kacie simply decided to allow him to cool off, as she knew she had probably gone a bit too far. He looked away from her for a moment, his eyes containing a far-away look she did not think she could reach. "There are many ways to kill someone without risking your life." He turned to her, the expression on his face full of a repressed agony that he only seemed to show to her. There was a sort of twisted emotion in the depths of his eyes, as if he were planning the most wicked sort of plan for all those that sought to hurt he and those that he loved. Her heart broke for him in that moment. She didn't want him to feel so much pain. Though she had no room to talk, he was far too young to experience such agony for himself and those that he loved. He chuckled darkly, but said nothing in reply to her when she mentioned Voldemort. Sirius sighed when she narrowed her eyes and his own slitted with righteous anger. He shrugged at her question, having clearly doubted it. "I make sure to stay informed, despite your blatancy of believing me to be ignorant and rusty in their ways. Your appearance has only strengthened my beliefs and knowledge." "Fine!" She suddenly exclaimed, "Alright, I get it, okay?! Just..." she sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly, feeling like a middle aged woman who had just ran a marathon after going a week without sleep. "Can we just talk about something else? I don't care about them, and I most certainly did not want to talk about them at all tonight. I'm sorry I even brought them up." He snorted disgustedly at her mention of Andromeda again. She didn't care anymore, she just wanted to forget about the Slytherins altogether. He glanced at her, his silver eyes mutinous. "How long did it take them to get over their hopes, Kacie? They knew that she was not going to change and they began to push thoughts of her aside. What do they care about someone that betrayed their kind? Once it was clear that the traitor wasn't going to repent, they wrote them off immediately. They get burnt off the tree." She sighed. "I know," she replied, "I know how you feel about all of them, Sirius. But despite what you believe, there are still good people out there. There are still good people in Slytherin. Most of them aren't living their own lives. They're either pressured or threatened by their families. You know Helena Berkeley? Snape had his doubts a few years ago, though that didn't work out well. Hell, even me. At one point in time, I had actually hated myself for being muggleborn. Are you going to burn me off your tree for that?" She knew that Sirius was too stubborn to see what she had seen over the past seven years, but she had to get her point across. He knew that she wasn't evil, yet she was in Slytherin. His brother, Regulus, wasn't evil, he was simply too scared. She understood. Everyone is faced with that ultimatum at some point or another. "The point is, Sirius, that there is both light and dark in all of us. What matters is the part that we choose to act on."Another dark chuckle escaped through his lips. "And how many times did they listen to you? Don't you think that if you were any sort of threat, they would have just hurt someone disgusting to them without your knowledge of it? Kacie, do you understand what it's like to be raised in such a place of wickedness and cruelty where no one has hearts beneath their rib cages. I sometimes wondered if they were even human." He looked off towards the sky again, his silver eyes clouding with fury. Kacie glared at him. "Of course I knew they wouldn't all listen to me," she said, "But I tried! Some of them listened, some of them didn't. The only thing I had to comfort me at the end of the day was that I heard fewer screams than I would have otherwise. And you speak of monsters! You grew up in a world of magic! Despite your family in this world, at least that's where it was. Magic can both cure and harm many people, Sirius. In my world it was a bottle of Jack that determined who was being punished for no reason in my family. You want to meet someone who wasn't human? Grab a time turner, I'll take you back a couple years to meet my dad." He wasn't the only one that hated his family. Kacie had found far too many people, far too many lifestyles to hate. It was such a taxing emotion. What was the point of hating? That's what caused this entire war. She saw it better to exhaust oneself by loving all day over hating.

He raised an eyebrow at her, a strange sense of calm emanating from his form. He tilted his head to the side and waited for her to finish. He leaned closer to her for a moment and whispered, quite emotionless, "Pray tell me why you think it so disgusting that I would be willing to die for a loved one, Kacie. Are you so blind to think that I would want to care more for my life than others? I have believed since a very young age to protect those around me. I cannot even think about allowing someone else pain or death when I could have stopped it. That is why I do not think in times as risky as those. I act on impulse, doing whatever I can to save someone." Kacie froze. Did he honestly think that she thought he was stupid? She shook her head, replying, "I don't think you disgusting for caring about others, Sirius. I never have, and I never will. You're the most selfless person I've ever met, and I admire you for that. Believe me, you're not the only one whose willing to die for the ones you love. When Dumbledore told me about Thomas..." she trailed off, unsure how to word her thoughts. "I wanted to kill them all. I was filled with so much hate and so much determination...I looked through every book in that library, trying to find some kind of spell, some kind of magic that could bring him back...I'm a very selfish person, Sirius, and I know that you know that. When it comes to the people I love, I'll stop at nothing to keep them safe, because I never want to have to let them go. I still have trouble letting go of Thomas, and I beat myself up every day for not being able to protect him. I don't blame you for being angry about it, but damn it, Sirius, I don't want you to get hurt! I don't want to go to your funeral next. That would kill me!" Tears spilled over, staining her pale cheeks. The spell she had used to cover her bruises was beginning to wear off, and she knew that, soon enough, all of the bruises across her face, across her arms, legs, her entire body, would be visble to him. She no longer cared. She didn't want to hide anything else from him any longer. He eyed her closely when she mentioned caring for his well-being more than he did himself. "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend." Kacie took a deep, shaky breath. "I know," she replied, her voice breaking. As they kissed, Kacie new that she was his. Nothing could ever change that. She had never met a boy, no, a man, who had made her feel so alive, so loved, so free. He eyed her warily as she gasped, as if worried he had said something wrong. When her hands moved to either side of her face, he gave her a crooked smile and then placed his hands over hers. The burning electricity she was used to when her skin came into contact with Sirius' now felt as if it were being doubled ten-fold. She could feel her heart swelling, as if a balloon was being blown up in her chest so large that she couldn't breathe. He seemed unable to stop himself from smirking at her insults. Laughing happily at her words, they kissed, and he whispered, "I'm glad you feel that way, Kacie, because if you hadn't I would have been thoroughly embarrassed. You are the only girl I never wish to be parted from and when I am, I feel like a part of me is missing. I know that we are both stubborn, cocky, and quite insane, but it is because we are both passionate for our beliefs. What is so wrong with that?" Kacie grinned happily at him, and his declaration. "I know exactly what you mean," she whispered, "I hate it when your gone. Sometimes, I'd just stay up all night and worry, not knowing how you were, what you were doing. Wondering if you thought about me as much as I thought about you. I don't always like it when we fight about things, silly or important, yet when we do, I always see this light in your eyes. And every time I see it, I remember just how much I love you, just how much I love to see that passion, and hope to see it every day. As long as you want me, I'll be here." Smiling wider at her statement, he kissed her face again, pressing his lips to every part he could and then moved his mouth quite close to her ear. The voice that protruded from his full lips was full of velvet, trickling with sweetness and sincerity.

"Be mine . . . forever."

Kacie felt goosebumps rise on her arms, felt her skin come alive and burn intensly at his statement. It said so little, yet it said so much. Her own lips were conveniently close to his ear, and she pressed a gentle kiss in the hollow below it, her voice low and steady, filled with so many emotions that she could only comprehend one: Love. "I'm already yours." And with that, she pressed her lips against his in a fiery kiss that made her heart thrum excitedly and soar higher than it ever had before.

[[OOC: Aww, lol I couldn't resist =] ]]

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius couldn't hear her breathing. It made him worried for a moment and he moved away from her for just a second just to make sure she was quite fine. For the first instance, he thought it possible that they could live together in supreme happiness, their joy insurmountable as they spoke of the deepest subjects and commented on the frivolities and stupidities of others, which they most normally found quite amusing. A slight frown graced his features at the tears in her eyes, but he simply gave her a reassuring grin in the sight of her own. He felt the corners of his lips twitch upwards even more, the smirk lighting up his face with good humor. His countenance had never achieved such light. "I have no objection at all, my dear, for I know that you will keep anything you hold dear quite safe." He gave a slight chuckle when she stood on the tips of her toes, his humor increasing as his joy overflowed through him. Never in his life had he felt such a strong affection for a female, especially one from Slytherin. He found it quite alleviating and he couldn't help but love her more. He was immediately relieved that she did not blame him nor require such an apology and he let out a sigh of reprieve at this realization. Sirius knew of the remorse for the pain she had caused him, but he had no intention of telling her anything about the agony and despair he had endured for the many weeks he had been refused in her accompaniment. Only James and Remus knew at length the depths of his horrors. Feeling rather sorry for her on behalf of her own mental stability, Sirius whispered, "Do not punish yourself in such a way, Kacie. I am quite at liberty to forgive you if you will forgive yourself. I have no hard feelings as to your disappearance as long as nothing of the sort happens again." He could feel the eagerness in her touch and her kisses sent every fragment of skin touched into a spiraling frenzy of excitement, as he knew he would never feel this way for any other woman. It seemed impossible to him for another female to affect him in such a violent manner and he never wished for such a thing to happen.

Realizing that he had tendencies to be quite an ass, Sirius shrugged in her direction. She should have figured that out before she started a relationship with him. Even though he hated to fight with her on sometimes such trivial subjects, when in the majority of time were very important, he rather enjoyed talking to her. He had missed her voice, had fought desperately to remember it in the times he had been denied its sweetness. When she smirked at his compliment, he grinned back, unable to suppress his happiness. He pursed his lips in amusement at her words and muttered, "I can be quite unexpected, you know." He grinned. "Then I will simply owe it to the fact that great minds think alike." When he saw the anger in her eyes, he suddenly became disgusted, and for a moment, he saw only Lily Evans. Wrenching himself away from her, he turned away so that he didn't have to look at her. His fists were clenched as she spoke and he was attempting to rid the face of that damned redhead from his mind. He snarled and then was suddenly in front of her again, his face inches from hers. The animalistic expression upon his face was terrifying, nearly inhuman, as he spoke quite viciously, "I daresay that I feel the need to call you a hypocrite, Kacie, for if you aren't so daft, maybe you would realize that you have those exact qualities." He clenched his teeth together as he stared at her, silver eyes ablaze. He had no care in the world what she thought of him at this moment but the look on her face nearly broke his heart to pieces. He had not meant to hurt her in such a way, but she had no idea what he had been through without her. He took a deep breath when she spoke again to him and was affronted by her coldness. Clicking his tongue in an annoyed manner, he grabbed her around the shoulders and practically rammed her into the nearest tree, which happened to be a Willow, but thankfully it wasn't alive. He was sure he hadn't hurt her and any gasp that escaped her would only have to do with her shock at such a gesture. Moving his face closer to hers and pinning her arms down, he whispered, "Do you know what I went through these past weeks, Kacie? I don't think you truly understand. You have no idea the fear I hold in trusting, especially a female. I have never had a close friend like you of the opposite gender than myself. You had your brother as a best friend. I only had Andromeda for a short time, but I was never able to tell her everything as I do with you. Can you not tell me that you do not see how difficult it is for me to open up to you? Are you so foolish as to think that I actually care about myself right now?" He shook his head, his black curls falling delicately around his face as he stared at her, those silver pools filled with conflict. He knew that it was hard for her to let him in, but damn it! She was pushing him away with every other word she was emitting. What the hell was he supposed to think? "Maybe you should make your sentiments known rather than using clever phrases that I may not understand." Although Sirius was quite skilled at discovering people's emotions and thoughts by their expressions, Kacie was the only one he couldn't read with perfection. He found it very irritating. He saw the tears in her eyes and he closed the lids over his own for a fragment of a second, searching for the right words. He released his hold on her arms and then whispered very softly, "I apologize for my behavior, Kacie, I just feel like you're not getting it. I can see the stubbornness in your every expression and while you speak. You don't want to admit it to yourself that I--love you. You don't think you deserve me." He chuckled sardonically. "If that's the truth, I would call you quite bluntly a stupid girl. It is quite the other way around for if I had not found you, I would have never known what true love felt like . . . what James always saw in Lily." Although he didn't really like the redhead, he understood why the boy was so dazzled by the girl. Sirius felt the same way about Kacie. When they changed the subject to Regulus, Sirius tried to calm himself down even more. He was finding it harder and harder to accomplish. He eyed her in a rather startled manner. Then, blinking rapidly, he whispered, "Does he want to talk to me?" He thought that was what she was insinuating, but he was trying not to get his hopes up. The black dog that was Sirius gave a loud bark that sounded almost exactly like his human laugh when she jumped in shock. Sirius nuzzled his snout against her ear, believing her to be the most beautiful wolf he had ever seen in his lifetime. With barking laughter at the pleading look in those gorgeous green eyes, Sirius moved his head down once and then shot off running, hoping to beat her to their starting point again.

With glistening silver eyes, Sirius licked his lips, trying to keep a straight face as he gave her a seductive glance. Then, he couldn't stand it and simply doubled over with laughter, his guffaws loud and obnoxious. He really had this overpowering urge to take her right then and there but he knew how awkward that would have been for someone looking out of a window in the castle. He smirked at the thought. And, a part of him wanted to wait until he was married, just because he would know then that she would never leave him. Sirius was annoyed when she didn't reply and threw her a frown full of fury. Taking a deep breath, he looked back out over the lake, glancing across at the trees on the other side. Softly, he murmured, "You don't know what they're like, Kacie. What they do behind closed doors. You're in Slytherin and see their disgusting habits, but have you heard the screams of the innocent without--without being able to do anything about it?" He chuckled darkly, his silver eyes turning grey in reminiscence of those terrible days. "A seven year old hardly knows what to do in the face of human cruelty." The appearance of all of her cuts and bruises were getting to Sirius, causing his heart to pummel into his stomach every time he looked at her. To think that they did that to her! The people that he had once called his family. He eyed her when she showed her frustration. He nodded softly at her request, not disagreeing with it at all. He wished to speak of nothing but happiness at the moment. There are still good people in Slytherin. Sirius snorted derisively, glaring at her as if she were insane. How could she say such a thing? She herself was the only exception he had yet to find. Although Andromeda had been put into that House, he knew it was only because she had been forced by her parents. Then again, all those purebloods were the same. His gaze flew to hers when she mentioned a name. He knew the girl. She was beautiful and he had tried to talk to her quite a few times but she had barely looked at him. He considered her to be a snob and not worth his time. But, on the few occasions he had the pleasure of gaining her acceptance, which was only twice, he had noticed a sadness about her. She was not cruel, but she did not stand up when others in her House tormented muggleborns and the like. He had witnessed it once, refusing to believe that she was torn in her decisions. He saw nothing but a blankness on her face and it infuriated him. Angrily, he muttered, "That Veela is nothing but a snob. She doesn't think much of lesser beings like mudbloods." His tone was cold for he was going to deny any other Slytherin the benefit of the doubt unless they proved it to him point blank. He had yet to see that in anyone besides Kacie and Andromeda. When she repeated his statement about the tree, he couldn't help but laugh. She had no idea how screwed up his family really was. Softly, he turned to her and muttered, "I would never do such a thing, Kacie. But, let me tell you a little secret about my family. When someone disgraces their name or goes against what they think is the right path, you get erased from the family tree. It's as if you never existed. No one talks about you anymore, no one outside of the family brings you up, you're invisible to the highest classes of the Wizarding world. Understand?" He would never do such a thing to someone that he considered to be his family but he knew that the people he used to live with were simply empty shells full of nothing but working organs. They had no thoughts of others, just of their demented cause of raising the bar for purebloods so that everyone else would worship them. He gazed at her shrewdly when she spoke her wisdom and then smiled softly. "If you met the people that do not claim to be my parents, nor will I claim them for that matter, you would think differently about such a thing." When she became angry again, he turned his face to hers once more, eager to hear what she had to say as he attempted to keep his temper in check. "Name one other person in Slytherin that would stand up for their fellow man." He cringed when he insisted that he had nothing to speak badly of in his childhood. Monsters? No, they were far worse than that. They were the epitome of everything evil. "Magic is nothing without good reinforcement holding the wand, Kacie." Sirius tried not to be so bitter about everything but something about this beautiful girl in front of him caused all of his fears and insecurities to rush out of his mouth so that he could relieve his mind of anxiety, even if it was just for a little while.

Sirius gazed at her stonily when she spoke so highly of him. He deserved none of it. He was normally very arrogant, but he wasn't really in the mood for it at the moment. He nodded his head in thanks but said nothing for her compliments. If he were selfless, he would have been able to stop them all before they got to Regulus instead of wallowing in his own self pity when he realized he no longer wanted to live there. He knew that she was willing to die for the ones that she loved. Softly, he turned to her before asking, "What if it were someone you did not know at all? Perhaps this Helena you spoke of earlier. I doubt she has many friends considering the fact that I have never seen her talk to anyone else. Would you die for her, Kacie?" He knew it was odd to ask such a thing, but he was curious as to how far her selflessness went. He knew that if he hated someone, he would do anything to ruin them. He supposed that was the Black part about him. He was surprised when she suddenly referred to herself at selfish. He had never truly considered her to be such a thing, he had simply said it because he was angry that she didn't understand him earlier. He had never known such a close loss of a brother that Kacie had, but he had known quite a bit of death in his life. He had found it disturbing and unsettling as a young child, but somehow, he found a way to deny it ever happened. His eyes snapped suddenly to hers at the mention of his funeral. He smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood and then muttered, "No worries, love, I'll never die. I know how to get out of a fight when I know I won't win." That was a lie, of course. He would fight until the death in any battle, but he was trying to reassure her. He had a feeling that he would die at the hands of his enemy but that was exactly how he wanted it to be. "Where's the excitement and feeling in dying peacefully, Kacie? Where's the purpose in not doing anything for anyone when you could just sit at home safely?" His gaze flew back over the lake. When she whispered, it brought him out of his thoughts and he gazed over at her with a smile. But, his grin slowly began to fade as he noticed more cuts and bruises appearing about her face. Anger coursed through him and he choked as he said, "Why did you do that, Kacie? You still wanted to hide all of that from me, or were you just waiting until I was away from them so that you wouldn't think I'd do anything that I wouldn't regret. I can assure you that I would regret none of it." Sirius could feel her heartbeat in his hands and he smiled at the fact. He had always like that part of being close to a woman, but he found that Kacie's heartbeat was much more appealing than anyone else's had been. He chuckled softly and muttered, "I can assure you that I was in the same boat as you when you were absent from my side. And, I rather prefer it when you get angry about something because it shows me that you really care for me, despite my constant denials of caring for my own life." He grinned cheekily. When she confirmed his statement, Sirius smiled, allowing the kiss between them to rise in fervor and passion. He pushed her up against the tree nearby them and then moved his hands to her waist before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close so that no space was in between.

They were one.

[/size]

[``kacie marie helms]

A slight frown graced his features at the tears in her eyes, but he simply gave her a reassuring grin in the sight of her own. She saw the corners of his lips twitch upwards even more, the smirk lighting up his face with good humor. His countenance had never achieved such light. "I have no objection at all, my dear, for I know that you will keep anything you hold dear quite safe." He gave a slight chuckle when she stood on the tips of her toes, and she grinned impishly back at him. She had never felt this way about anyone before, and the sight of something as simple as a smirk from the angel before her was enough to brighten her day. She didn't deserve him, she knew, but that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy his company while it lasted, did it? She just wished that he would not realize just how much of a waste of time she really was. Call her selfish, but this undeserving girl wanted the man before her all to herself. With a look of pity that only made the Slytherin feel worse, Sirius whispered, "Do not punish yourself in such a way, Kacie. I am quite at liberty to forgive you if you will forgive yourself. I have no hard feelings as to your disappearance as long as nothing of the sort happens again." Biting her lower lip, she looked away from him. "Then you'll never forgive me," she whispered, "Because I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself."

When she smirked at his compliment, he grinned back, the sight blinding Kacie. She loved the look of peace that overcame his features as he smiled, looking as innocent and carefree as Thomas used to. Though Sirius knew far more evil in the world than good, he still seemed to thrive in the light, refusing to let the darkness swallow him. When he smiled at her, his eyes alight with mischief and delight, it was hard see him as anything else but...well, the opposite of his name. He pursed his lips in amusement at her words and muttered, "I can be quite unexpected, you know." He grinned. "Then I will simply owe it to the fact that great minds think alike." Kacie laughed, a bright, musical sound resonating through the air. “Smart answer,” she replied. Wrenching himself away from her, she found herself infuriated with him. How dare he turn away from her? How dare not look her in the eye, like a coward? His fists were clenched as she spoke and he snarled, suddenly in front of her again, his face inches from her own. The animalistic expression upon his face was terrifying, nearly inhuman, as he spoke quite viciously, "I daresay that I feel the need to call you a hypocrite, Kacie, for if you aren't so daft, maybe you would realize that you have those exact qualities." “I'm no such thing,” she replied coldly, “I realize what qualities I have, Sirius, and I'm damn proud of them! But if you insist on being an insufferable maniac and starting fights with me all the time, I won't even bother expressing them to you. I've no time for childish tantrums and sudden outbursts on your part.” Clicking his tongue in an annoyed manner at her statement, Sirius grabbed her around the shoulders and practically rammed her into the nearest tree, which happened to be a Willow, but thankfully it wasn't alive. She let out a gasp of surprise, and winced at the pain in her back, splinters of bark from the tree digging into her back, but he seemed to have no concern for her state of comfort. Moving his face closer to hers and pinning her arms down, Sirius whispered, "Do you know what I went through these past weeks, Kacie? I don't think you truly understand. You have no idea the fear I hold in trusting, especially a female. I have never had a close friend like you of the opposite gender than myself. You had your brother as a best friend. I only had Andromeda for a short time, but I was never able to tell her everything as I do with you. Can you not tell me that you do not see how difficult it is for me to open up to you? Are you so foolish as to think that I actually care about myself right now?" Her eyes stung at the mention of Thomas, her jaw clenching in anger as Sirius re-opened the wound of having lost her brother, her confidante...her only friend. Blinking rapidly, she replied, “That doesn't give you the right to give me ultimatums every time we argue, Sirius, and you know that. So instead of throwing both of our losses in my face and your issues with trust, let me in. Let both of us gain something from all of this and stop torturing ourselves. I'm tired of living like this. I don't want to be bitter and angry all the time. I don't want to resent or regret anything. I'm tired of pushing people away. Aren't you?” Sirius shook his head, his black curls falling delicately around his face as he stared at her, those silver pools filled with conflict. “Maybe you should make your sentiments known rather than using clever phrases that I may not understand." Kacie stared at him in shock. Did he really not know how she felt about him? “How can you not know how I feel? Have you honestly overlooked everything we've been through these past weeks?” Stepping forward, she cradled his angelic face in her hands. Staring into his silver eyes with determination, she pressed her lips against his firmly, expressing every thought, every feeling she had for him in that kiss. Pulling away, she whispered, “How can you not know that I love you?” "I apologize for my behavior, Kacie, I just feel like you're not getting it. I can see the stubbornness in your every expression and while you speak. You don't want to admit it to yourself that I--love you. You don't think you deserve me." He chuckled sardonically. "If that's the truth, I would call you quite bluntly a stupid girl. It is quite the other way around for if I had not found you, I would have never known what true love felt like . . . what James always saw in Lily." Kacie chuckled, shaking her head. “Don't compare us to Lily and James,” she murmured, “We are our own fairytale. We don't need to compare ourselves to them, or Cinderella and Prince Charming – though I could mistake you for him anyday – or Romeo and Juliet. We are what we are – Kacie and Sirius.” Though she probably wouldn't admit it aloud, it did have a nice ring to it. Sirius eyed her in a rather startled manner at the mention of his brother. Then, blinking rapidly, he whispered, "Does he want to talk to me?" Kacie smiled a sad smile. “Not as much as he used to,” she replied. “He used to talk about you all the time, wonder about you, defend you when older Slytherins insulted you. It's less frequent now, but I know he does. That's why he found a way to get them to stop,” she added, referring to what had happened to her. Regulus had found a way to divert their attention, had told them that she wasn't “worth their time”. Afterwords, he had cornered her, telling her to find a way for he and Sirius to talk. Hopefully, this would help the both of them. The black dog that was Sirius gave a loud bark that sounded almost exactly like his human laugh when she jumped in shock. He nuzzled his snout against her ear, and the white wolf gave a grin, licking him from cheek to ear. With barking laughter at the pleading look in those gorgeous green eyes, Sirius moved his head down once and then shot off running, gaining a head start. Kacie followed after, quickly catching up. She slowed her pace to match Sirius' when she arrived beside him, throwing a wink his way before she began to sprint around the lake, leaving him in the dust.

With glistening silver eyes, Sirius licked his lips, trying to keep a straight face as he gave her a seductive glance. He soon gave up and simply doubled over with laughter, his guffaws loud and obnoxious. Kacie laughed along with him, a contented smirk upon her face. She couldn't deny how appealing he looked – especially when he tried to look seductive – and it took all of her self-control not to jump him in that moment. Though an appealing thought, she didn't think he'd take to it quite well, especially since everyone wandering the corridors at night would be able to see them should they look out the window. Sirius threw her a frown full of fury. Taking a deep breath, he looked back out over the lake, glancing across at the trees on the other side. Softly, he murmured, "You don't know what they're like, Kacie. What they do behind closed doors. You're in Slytherin and see their disgusting habits, but have you heard the screams of the innocent without--without being able to do anything about it?" He chuckled darkly, his silver eyes turning grey in reminiscence of the dark days that were his past. "A seven year old hardly knows what to do in the face of human cruelty." Frowning, Kacie bit her lower lip, looking away from Sirius. “You know,” she said, “Muggles and wizards really aren't that different. Sure, we can do nifty little tricks with our wands and hurt people with them – kill them, even... But Muggles are just as capable of that level of cruelty. Do you know how many stab wounds the human body can handle before the light leaves their eyes?” She turned to Sirius then, her emerald orbs glinting with unshed tears. “Certain members of my family may not have been dark wizards, Sirius, but they were just as capable of inflicting pain. More than even a witch would be able to bear. My father made sure to remind me of that every day that he was alive.” As a single tear trailed down her cheek, she whispered, “I may not have witnessed what these people are capable of, but I've been through enough at their hands to know that Muggles have and can do much worse. They have the imagination to do...horrible things. Voldemort underestimates them, just like everyone else in this world.” Sirius snorted derisively, glaring at her as if she were insane. Angrily, he muttered, "That Veela is nothing but a snob. She doesn't think much of lesser beings like mudbloods." His tone was cold, heartless. Kacie froze at the final word, feeling the wind being knocked out of her chest. “Don't,” she whispered harshly, shaking her head in disgust as she turned away from him. “I don't care whether it's mockingly or in all seriousness. Don't...ever...utter that word in front of me.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she swallowed back the bile that had risen in her throat at his statement. She glared at the Black Lake, her eyes burning with a hatred so fierce that it would make Dumbledore quake in his robes. Hatred for the word, or hatred for Voldemort and his followers, she didn't know. Sirius laughed at her. Softly, he turned to her and muttered, "I would never do such a thing, Kacie. But, let me tell you a little secret about my family. When someone disgraces their name or goes against what they think is the right path, you get erased from the family tree. It's as if you never existed. No one talks about you anymore, no one outside of the family brings you up, you're invisible to the highest classes of the Wizarding world. Understand?" With a bitter smile, she murmured, “More than you know.” The Gryffindr gazed at her shrewdly when she spoke her wisdom and then smiled softly. "If you met the people that do not claim to be my parents, nor will I claim them for that matter, you would think differently about such a thing." Sighing, she shook her head at him. “Part of me thinks that you'll come to see things my way eventually. Who knows? You might even be giving this advice to your children one day,” she joked, eager to get back to lighter topics. When she became angry again, he turned his face to hers once more. "Name one other person in Slytherin that would stand up for their fellow man." She flinched at the harshness of his statement. Angry with the fact that he was right, she merely shrugged, clenching her jaw in frustration. She really didn't know many Slytherins, hadn't bothered to converse with them. How would she know if it was possible, when so many of them had shown only bitterness and cruelty towards her? "Magic is nothing without good reinforcement holding the wand, Kacie." Sighing, suddenly exhausted, Kacie collapsed onto the grass, laying down and staring at the stars. She patted a spot of dry ground next to her for Sirius to join her, though her attention was diverted toward a certain constellation. She lifted her hand curiuosly, and traced the pattern in the air. “You have no idea how special you are, do you?” she finally whispered, not taking her eyes off of the star in the sky. “Sirius...you were born in the stars, and you always will be.” She pointed out one star in particular, hoping that he would notice it. “Canis Major, better known as the Dog Star. That star in the constellation...right there,” she said, “Is the dog's nose, best known as Sirius.” She turned her head to look at him, and smiled. He really was a gift from the heavens, she mused. She only hoped that he didn't lose his way. She couldn't afford for another of her stars to go out.

Sirius gazed at her stonily when she spoke so highly of him. He nodded his head in thanks but said nothing for her compliments. After a moment, Sirius turned to her before asking, "What if it were someone you did not know at all? Perhaps this Helena you spoke of earlier. I doubt she has many friends considering the fact that I have never seen her talk to anyone else. Would you die for her, Kacie?" The Slytherin thought about his question for a moment. Would she be willing to die for someone, a complete stranger? A child? Yes. An innocent bystander? Yes. Helena Berkeley? “If it meant giving her a second chance to live her life, then yes, I would.” She replied. His eyes snapped suddenly to hers at the mention of his funeral, and for a moment, she thought that he might just understand what she was saying. He smiled at her, trying to lighten the mood and then muttered, "No worries, love, I'll never die. I know how to get out of a fight when I know I won't win." Kacie smiled at his attempt at a joke, but she knew the truth. Sirius was the type of man that never gave up. She knew that, if it came down to it, he would fight to the death for what he believed in, just as she would, if she were put in that position. "Where's the excitement and feeling in dying peacefully, Kacie? Where's the purpose in not doing anything for anyone when you could just sit at home safely?" Taking a shaky breath, she replied, “I know, I know, but... Chances are that, when one of us dies, the other is going to be there, on the same battlefield. One of us is going to see the other's death, and...” She took a deep, shuddering breath, tears streamind down her cheeks. She couldn't stand the thought of Sirius dying, of him no longer being here. She couldn't stand the thought of a world without Sirius Black existing. Brokenly, she whispered, “I'd rather be the one that fought for you to stay alive than the one that tries to throw herself in the ground after you.” His gaze flew back over the lake. When she whispered, he gazed over at her with a smile. But, his grin slowly began to fade as he studied the growing number of cuts and bruises reappearing on her face. Anger brightened his silver eyes and he choked as he said, "Why did you do that, Kacie? You still wanted to hide all of that from me, or were you just waiting until I was away from them so that you wouldn't think I'd do anything that I wouldn't regret. I can assure you that I would regret none of it." She shrugged, looking away from him. She noticed her reflection in the black glittering waters of the lake, the moon illuminating the world around her. She scowled at her reflection in anger, turning away from it. “Because,” she muttered bitterly, “I'd look in a mirror, or see my reflection in the window, and I'd only be reminded of my own stupidity. I can't believe I even let them get to me. I shouldn't have left the Room of Requirement that night.” He chuckled softly and muttered, "I can assure you that I was in the same boat as you when you were absent from my side. And, I rather prefer it when you get angry about something because it shows me that you really care for me, despite my constant denials of caring for my own life." He grinned cheekily. The sight of his happiness only increased hers, causing her cheeks to burn with the intesity of her smile, her white teeth glinting in the moonlight. When she confirmed his statement, Sirius smiled, allowing the kiss between them to rise in fervor and passion. He pushed her up against the tree nearby them and then moved his hands to her waist before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close so that no space was in between. She smiled into the kiss, tangling her pale, slender fingers into his shaggy ebony locks and pulling him closer to her. She gasped at the intensity and passion he showed, barely noting the large wooden tree that was digging into her back. Eager to be even closer to him, she hopped up, propping her back against the tree and wrapping her legs around his waist. The lack of space between them was both suffocating and magnificent. There was no room to breath, no room to think.

There was only Sirius.

[``sirius orion black]

Sirius felt the ever familiar fear begin to encroach upon his insides, turning about his stomach with an everlasting turmoil. He didn't deserve Kacie. She was a kind soul with a heart of gold. He knew his soul was black from years living in the house he used to call home. He knew that she had been stained by her background as well, but for some reason, she seemed to be taking it a lot better than he ever would. They were similar, yes, but extremely different. A man of pureblood inheritance, who had nothing but the Marauders and their parents to call his family. No one that was truly related to him had spoken to him in years. He had begun to realize that there is no turning back once you are burned off of the tree. Even Andromeda was silent in these dark days. Sirius found that heart-wrenching. He missed her terribly, especially with that damned Voldemort on the loose. He worried for her as he would for Regulus, who he knew was around Death Eaters. It infuriated him that his little brother couldn't see what he saw, couldn't act as he did. Isn't that what little brothers are supposed to do? Follow in their older brother's footsteps? It seemed logical to Sirius, but he felt that there was no hope left for little Reggie. His heart panged and he felt his fists clench as he held Kacie. Softly, he sighed. He moved away from her and then plopped down on the ground, completely exhausted. This was why he hated being serious. He could barely handle the anguish. When he constantly fought to be a joker, nothing could bring him down. But, this. This was beginning to be too much. His worry of Kacie would grow if their relationship was to grow and he didn't know if he could ever handle losing her. Looking up at Kacie from his spot on the ground, Sirius reached out and grabbed her leg, pulling it out from underneath of her. Then, he positioned her fall so that she would land right on top of him. Wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight, he whispered, "Then, I will forgive you for both of our sakes." He touched his nose to hers, smiling widely as he did so. He felt terrible at the moment, but he was trying to hide it. He wanted Kacie to realize that she was all he'd ever want in a woman. He didn't care about her birth, her parents, not even the house she had been sorted into. He loved her just the way she was.

Sirius found himself incapable of looking away from her striking emeralds. They were so captivating to him and he felt like he was drowning in their beauty, immersing himself in the depths of her soul. When she laughed, his heart fluttered against his ribcage, threatening to burst with awe. It was such a beautiful laugh, full of perfection and grace. It sounded close to her singing voice which made Sirius swell with joy. Unable to control himself, he pressed his lips to hers softly before pulling away. Merlin, he could barely stand it. His libido was growing by the second, but he knew how to control himself, even if he'd never been faced with such feelings for any other woman before this moment. Smirking, he muttered, "Should you expect anything less, my love?" He reached out and ran his fingers along her smooth porcelain skin, desperate for her. When she suddenly proclaimed that she was no hypocrite, the silver pools on Sirius Black's face twisted with furious anger. He could barely see straight he was so mad. How could she really say that? Was she so blind as to her own faults? He knew he had issues, but Merlin! She was denying them completely! "BUT YOU ARE, KACIE! Damn it! You are as stubborn as I am! Can't you realize that is why we always argue?" He glared at her when she spoke of him as childish. He was more of an adult than she would ever be! No, no, he shouldn't think that. He was more mature than she realized, it was just entirely irritating to him when he people didn't understand what he was saying. Without being able to control himself, he muttered, "At least I am not selfish." His eyes were ablaze and nothing in his mind was telling him that he shouldn't have said that. He was too angry to care about her feelings right now. He felt like crying for what she'd said to him, felt like turning and never talking to her again, but he was no coward. He would stand his ground until he got his point across, no matter the consequence. Damn it! Why did he have to do this to her? The only woman he truly felt he loved and he was treating her like she was no better than the dirt they walked upon! At her gasp upon impacting the tree, a bit of sanity leaked into his brain. Had he hurt her? Blinking rapidly, he moved his hands down behind her back, pushing himself against her so that she didn't have to feel the pain. Sirius hated himself for causing her agony to return at his mention of her brother. But she wasn't listening to him! He had to make her see! He sighed loudly after she spoke. "And it doesn't give you the right to throw what you think are my faults in my face constantly. I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT'S WHY I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH? MY FAULTS ARE WHAT ARE KEEPING REGULUS AWAY FROM ME!" He took a deep breath, regretting what he had just said aloud. He had never uttered such a thing to anyone before, had kept it in the back of his mind to hide away forever. He hated himself, most disastrously. But, no one had known. Not until now. He didn't want to fight anymore, didn't want to be angry anymore, but it was all he'd ever known when faced with torment. Was he just supposed to let it all go? "I don't know how," he whispered solemnly, resting his forehead against hers. He hoped she wouldn't see the tears that were beginning to form in his silver pools. He stared at her when her voice began to fill with surprise. How could he know? She'd hid herself in a hole for weeks. He had been the only one to show her that he cared. To him, those weeks had been torture. For days at a time, he would fear the worst. How could he think she loved him after putting him through all of that? Instead of replying, he said nothing, the conflict in his eyes increasing. When she kissed him, Sirius could feel his heart pumping wildly as he felt everything in that one instant of contact between them. He still felt afraid, but he simply gave her a half-hearted smile, desperate to admit that he needed to feel her love. He had never known love, to be quite honest. Not like this. He didn't know what to do with it. He simply smirked when she said not to compare this to Lily and James. What the hell else was he supposed to compare it with? He needed something plausible to see how love can turn out in the end. Lily and James were the couple that he could do that with. He nodded, but he still was confused. The feelings bubbling inside of him were overflowing his control. He wanted her badly, to be with him forever. But, he couldn't say it. He wouldn't. Not yet. When she spoke of Regulus losing interest in talking to him, Sirius felt a terrible pang in his chest, giving him a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had pushed Regulus away for so long that he had lost interest in ever reconciling with his older brother. He frowned at her last statement. "But, he shouldn't be around them. He should have known that I would never talk to him with those damned Slytherthings around." His voice was riddled with disgust, but he tried to keep his temper in check. Then, as he noticed a hidden meaning in her words, he gazed at her silently. "He defended you?" If that was true, Sirius didn't know what to do with himself. He was confused. The black dog grew annoyed that the wolf was catching up and he whined piteously. He did enjoy just running alongside of her so if they didn't make this into a race, maybe it would be better. He smiled with his canine teeth. Then, when she sped up, Sirius growled. He quickly did the same, ending up right behind him. He wanted to tell her it wasn't fair, but all that came out were a few irritated barks. Then, he was beside her again, snorting with laughter.

When she found his attempt at being seductive humorous, he smirked at her, catching the look in her eyes. Softly, her fluttered his lashes, something he always did to Remus to get on the boy's nerves. But, this time he was really trying. He moved closer to her, keeping his gaze on her strong as he took her hand in his and twirled her around before catching her in his arms. With his most velvet tone, he murmured, "How about we go somewhere more---" He paused for a moment, moving his lips to her ear. "Private?" His voice was a purr, full of passion and desire. But, was he even ready for this? They knew practically everything about each other and he knew he wouldn't desire for any other female but her. When she began to speak, he continued to stare out across the lake, listening intently. He clenched his jaw at her question and shook his head very slightly, not really wanting to know. He had never been a fan of knives and daggers. He remembered Bellatrix going at a little bird with one when they had come over to visit. She had claimed that the bird was chirping too loud and she just wanted to make it quiet. Sirius swallowed at the memory of that poor animal's blood who hadn't done anything except sing its beautiful song. For a moment, his heart fluttered violently in his chest. Kacie . . . Her voice reminded him of that bird, of its song. He looked at her suddenly, terror filling his eyes. He was going to do everything in his power to protect her from the likes of Bellatrix. Nothing would harm his beloved. He reached out and touched her face, tracing her skin with his fingertips. He listened to her talk of her father and his sorrow increased for her. He wiped away the tear and gave her a tender smile, trying to make her feel better. But, he said nothing. He didn't disagree with her, but he knew Voldemort could kill one hundred muggles in one room all at once. Especially if he had the help of his Death Eaters. Kacie didn't understand that when Voldemort came to his full potential, everyone that stood against him without a wand would not stand a chance. He regretted using the word immediately. He had never said it aloud in his life, yet here he was, pretending to sound like a pureblood should. He knew that Bellatrix used the word frequently. He couldn't become like her. Hating himself even more, Sirius moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, love, I was just trying to prove a point. I didn't mean to hurt you like that." He wasn't going to let her go until she proved to him that she was alright. He nodded at her when she said she understood. When Kacie had spoken of her mother and father, he didn't doubt that fact. But, at least she could still see her mother, no matter how unhappy the meeting was for the both of them. If Sirius even stepped foot on the property, they'd probably kill him without a second thought. Guffawing loudly, Sirius stared at her with an insurmountable joy. Children? "I'm not cut out to be a father, Kacie. I think I'll stick with playing with James's and Lily's kids. And maybe even Remus's, if he has the nerve to talk to a female." He smiled at her again, the tanned face alight with a childish fervor. He didn't want children because he was afraid of becoming like his father, but he also didn't want the burden of having to do the right thing in front of them all of the time. He'd prefer to just hang around his best mates' houses and be like an uncle to their children. When she didn't reply to his statement, Sirius knew he had been right. There was only one good soul in Slytherin and he was looking at her right now. Sirius watched her fall to the ground and immediately followed suit, feeling too tired to do anything else. He didn't reply to her question, but already knew the answer in his head. He wasn't special. He was just goddamn attractive and hilarious. That was all. He chuckled when she pointed out the star he had probably been named after. Smirking, he muttered, "My parents probably named me that because they think we belong in the stars!" He guffawed loudly. He looked back at her when he saw her turn her head. The light in her eyes was nearly blinding, but he couldn't help but continue to stare into them.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at her words. Frowning, he whispered, "How could you be so hopeful for a pureblood maniac like Berkeley? Her family is very proper, Kacie. I doubt they would let her change. If they are just like my parents, they would give up on her, too. How could you be so sure that she wouldn't do the same things she's been doing?" Sirius knew Helena was a bystander. She did nothing, said nothing, just stood there. She was a coward and Sirius had no use for them. They were a disgrace to everything human. But, she wasn't even human was she? Part anyway. He knew of her mother being a full Veela. So, the Slytherthing had to be half of a monster. How funny. He chuckled darkly at the thought. No wonder she had men falling all around her, yet she had never acted upon their flirtation. He shrugged thoughts of her off, not really caring anymore. Sirius knew he wouldn't be able to lie to her. The only woman that was invincible to his charms knew his every thought. He nodded at her words and then captured her face in his hands. "No one is going to kill you, Kacie. I shall protect you from this day forth. Not one day will you spend away from me. And if that day comes and one of us . . . dies---we shall avenge the other until we too have died." They both knew what grief could do to them. Sirius would slaughter everyone in his path if someone had killed Kacie, probably naming his own death in the process. But, that was the point of love, wasn't it? Chills raked down his spine at her next statement. He pressed his lips to hers hungrily, willing her to believe him in the fact that he would always fight for her life before his own. "Either way, we'll always be together. No matter what happens to one of us, the other will always be them. I shall never love any other woman, Kacie. You are my one true love. Nothing can change that." He flashed her a handsome smile, kissing her mouth once more. Sighing, he pulled her to him, knowing that she was one of the smartest witches he knew. He tightened his grip on her when she spoke her last words. Merlin, he knew she was right. "You know that I would have stayed there forever with you, right?" He kissed the top of her head, holding her close. At the happiness shining on her beautifully porcelain face, Sirius felt his heart beating wildly. Grabbing her face, he ran his fingers through her hair and then pressed his lips to hers once more, not breaking the embrace. When her fingers moved through his own onyx locks, he smiled against her mouth, practically going insane at the sensation in his stomach. And the spot a little lower. He wanted her badly. When her legs wrapped around his waist, he moved his hands to her bottom, holding her so that she didn't have to worry about falling. Then, breaking off the kiss for a fragment of a second, he smiled.

"Do you want me?"

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